I’ll start.
My then gf and I had a chihuahua that just happened to be the most tiny and most diva and most clever little dog I’ve ever met. Tiny, incredibly cute, extreme ego and confidence, a terrible piercing bark and had some wild mood swings on top. He’d go from cuddly to nuclear warfare in a second of something displeased him. He was the eldest and the leader of his little pack and he kept all of them wrapped right around his paw running a little dogmatic terror state. But he took his responsibilities seriously and was always up in front if there was a threat to them. Be it an angry German shepherd or a double parked electric scooter. Nobody messed with his pack - except for him, obviously.
Our little beast was very well aware of his cuteness, and his craving for adoration knew no end. He’d be walking down the street next to me, obviously refusing to yield for anyone, and as we pass some café tables, he’d throw himself flat on the ground, legs pointing in all directions. We called it that he did a doormat. The intent was to throw us under the bus as his keepers so that he’d maximize the aahs and oohs and attention went compliments from the people sitting in the café.
But this is just the backstory. He was vain, and we knew he was clever, but also of this is still learned behaviour with a previously verified outcome.
No, what really set it apart was that one time we were at home, the entire couch occupied by humans, dogs, and generally not him in particular. He was strutting around, being grumpy that others had taken his rightful seat, and nobody would disappear into nothingness for his approval. Not an uncommon thing, but he has plenty of other comfy spaces to be, communal and his very own. We know if we lift him up now, he’ll try force some other dog down just because he wants space for himself, and we weren’t having it. The other dogs were there first today and it’s their right as much, so tough luck bud.
After some time, I notice him staring into the lights off bedroom. He looks at me, turns back to the bedroom and just keeps staring at it. I tell my gf that he is staring into the void and it seems to be staring back at him. We watch him as he keeps staring at nothing.
By now he is an old dog and has already shown signs of deterioration. I ask him what’s up and he shows some signs of anxiety, tail down, tapping feet, mild whimper. I call for him, there’s nothing there, come to daddy. No response. We figure he’s lost it now, the creeping senility we’ve suspected is real.
So I keep talking to him, calming him, approach to turn on the lights and show him around that there is nothing there. He stands eagerly waiting, full focus on me as I come closer. Then - tail high, he runs as fast his tiny legs can carry his body, to the seat where I was sitting, barking at my gf to be picked up into the couch.
And it dawns on me. It was all a ruse! He came up with the clever plan to lure me away from his desired spot. If he acts anxious I’ll get worried and get up, freeing up a vacancy on the couch, and then it’s a fair race who gets it first. His smug posture standing in my seat was what gave it away. He was not anxious at all, he was not afraid, that I’m not anthropomorphizing but that he knew exactly what he was doing.
A multi step sequential plan with a clear goal in mind that he came up with from no be prior training. If that is not intelligence, I don’t know what is.
I watched my Pekingese figure out a problem and use tools.
He wanted on the table where we were setting up for Thanksgiving. The table was stock full of delicious smells. Pekes are shaped like fat egg rolls with flipper feet. There was no way he could jump that high. But ohhhh… He wanted on that table. He just sat there, like a chubby kid staring at an unguarded cake three balconies above him.
After driving himself mental, pacing in place, whining, he sat down and started looking around, thinking about his plight. He saw a spare dining room chair we brought out to accommodate guests. He passed the usual heavy oak chairs to this cheap, IKEA spare chair. He scooted it with his face towards the table. He’d stop every so often, to see how close it was. He was gaging the distance.
Then, at the proper distance, he hopped on the chair and onto the the table before I grabbed him. It wasn’t so much “NO PUPPEH MAH PAHT PIAH!” but I knew he’d grab a slice of meat too big for him and choke on it trying to swallow it before I got it from him.
Later, I gave him his own plate with dog-appropriate and safe food on it.
But my Peke was now another tool-user in my house.
Alternative headline: OP outsmarted by elderly chihuahua in his own home.
Chihuahua 1 House ape 0
This person speaks the truth.
It is known
I have a little drawer which has a slight gap at the top instead of a handle to open it.
I put a toy my cat likes in it, and he reached inside the drawer and grabbed the toy without even looking inside it.
Bonus: a cat at a base I served at really wanted to get into the war room one night (while I was currently on duty in it), and she managed to lean on the handle and open the door enough to enter.
That cat is an enemy agent, trying to survey the operations room.
Smart things my “stupid” dog does:
-
I have a box with gamepads, remotes and headphones next to the coch. My dog knows thats off-limits to him. If he wants attention and I ignore him long enough, he will then start to paw at the box. Sort of to say “Look at me…look what I’m doing…I’m touching the box…can’t ignore me now…”
-
Anytime he does something super cute, the microsecond when I point my phone camera at him, he will turn away. Not if I suddenly reach for my phone, not if I’m just scrolling, but literally as soon as I want to tap the shutter button. It’s become quite a challenge to try and sneakily take pictures of him.
-
Both my wife and me work from home 9-5. He will pretty much sleep during that time and not be much of a bother. Around 6 we have Dinner, and then take him for a walk for him to do his business. After that we relax in front of the TV. He pretty much knows we’ll watch about two episodes of some show, then step outside for a smoke. So as soon as the second episode stops, he’s already on top of us, begging for attention.
I have a Care Bear my husband gave me for Christmas one year, and the dogs aren’t allowed to play with it. Sometimes when I’m reading in bed, our older dog will decide she wants attention, and she will grab that specific bear, all while making eye contact, because she knows I’ll chase her for it
-
My dog wasn’t allowed in my brother’s room, but he loved my brother. One time, after he was kicked out, he tried slowly walking in backwards. I guess he thought we couldn’t tell what he was doing if he did it backwards.
I have a cat who would scratch the rug when no one’s looking so there’s that.
I had one that would only piss in the corner when nobody was watching.
One time my dog wanted to sit in the ottoman, but my other two dogs were already sharing it so no room. He went to the back door and barked once and the other two joined him to see what was going on. As they jumped down, he jumped up on the ottoman and let them “protect” the house.
We have a Boxer and a Wheaten, two weeks in age apart. If Will (Wheaten) is getting scratches, Seymour (Boxer) will go get a toy,any toy will work, and “play” with it in front of Will. Will has to be the “one” with the toy, so Will jumps down to take the toy away, and Seymour let’s him and takes the scratches.
You just had to name him that, didn’t you?
Seymour Buts or
Will FD (Full Disobedience)Wheaten?
Yes!
Delightfully devilish Seymour
I was walking behind two dogs and their owner. I was walking faster than them and one of the dogs looked at me and proceeded to persistently move the other dog to the side so that I could pass. It was absolutely clear it knew what it was doing :)
We had a dog who was brilliant in almost every area. For example, he liked to watch television. Late at night he would go downstairs and turn on the TV. We only discovered it by accident, because he would also turn if off if he heard us coming. One night I walked in on him with his nose on the off button and the picture (on our old-style TV) still fading.
Once he knew that we knew, he stopped trying to hide it. He would turn it on and off when he wanted. Then he figured out, I assume from watching us, how to use the remote. Finally, he learned how to change channels using the remote. His favorite show turned out to be “The Pet Department” on Animal Planet. I kid you not.
This is very hard to believe… How would he use the remote? The keys are small for a dog.
That was the problem he had when he first tried the remove. After some experimentation, he discovered that his center toenail hit individual buttons without activating any other.
I would never have believed it if I hadn’t watched him doing it.
Our Golden will actively watch Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Dragon Prince. Full on watch the TV. (And nature documentaries).
Most other shows he doesn’t really care one way or the other for.
Your sounds like a kindred spirit. Not all dogs understand televisions, but those who do seem to treat them much the same way we do. Most dogs are interested in other animals, so it makes sense that they would like nature shows. It sounds like yours also has a taste for fantasy, which is awesome.
That’s fascinating. What breed?
Dog.
I literally found him on the street, so I don’t know anything about his parents. And this was before canine DNA tests were a thing.
He had fur like a plush golden retriever, but if you ignored that, he mostly looked like a wolf. Our vet’s best guess was a shepherd mix with some husky and a lot of other bits and pieces.
Fascinating. I’m glad you found such a smart dog in the streets.
Me too. I’ve had some smart dogs, but he was in a different category.
When I found him he was carefully studying a busy intersection (6 lanes crossing 4 lanes with separate left turn lanes). Before I could get to where he was, he crossed two sides of the intersection safely, waiting for traffic to stop at the light. I pulled into a parking lot near him, opened my door, and said hello. He came over sniffed my hand, got a little petting, then jumped in when I patted the seat next to me. We were inseparable after that.
He was less than a year old when I found him, skinny and bedraggled in the rain. Over the next year he more than doubled in size, becoming quite a magnificent beast. It’s been two decades since he passed away, but I still miss him.
It makes me smile to read your story. Thank you so much for telling it!
Thanks for the positive response! I love reading about other people’s pets too.
I used to have a dog that would knock my stepdad’s vodka off the counter, chew through the bottle (it was plastic), and lap the vodka off the floor.
What?? I’ve heard and understand dogs liking beer, but vodka??
Siberian Huskies man.
I’ve had several ferrets, and intelligence definitely varies in them, but it’s impressive what their little raisin brains can manage. watching them figure out a puzzle was the most fun.
but it wasn’t always fun. I had a ferret with some serious attitude, and he and my sister didn’t get along. one day, she shoved him aside with her foot and called him a little shithead. later that day, we found her phone, in it’s nice leather case, in his litterbox. he knew exactly how to get even.
same little guy would push open the bathroom door if he could, see I was ‘occupied’, and then get up to whatever bad idea was the current favorite. it took me a bit to catch on, but I got it after the cute little weasel poked in, then went and dragged a family size bag of m&ms under my roommate’s dresser, leaving a trail from my room to hers. little pest knew he had plenty of time before I could catch him at it.
Had a friend stay with us a few days. She had a hairless puppy with her. Less than a year old. It was also coldest part of the year. Not a good time to be hairless.
Dogs of course have to go outside to take care of business and being a pup, he onr day decided to take off exploring at top speed.
My cat at the time chased after him and herded him back towards us sheepdog style.
I learned in a video that cats can read our facial expressions just fine, we’re just crap at reading theirs because their facial muscles don’t allow for the same movement as humans (and dogs to some extent). They’ll become more anxious if we show a fear expression around them in a new environment, or become more relaxed and cuddly if we smile at them in a new place. They look to us for reassurance as much as dogs do.
Once I learned that they do a lot of their communicating with their tail, I started paying attention to my two cat’s tail movements and now I can’t unsee it. It’s as obvious as a waving hand, and they’ll talk to one another this way as well as with us.
For example, they lift their tail as a greeting. If I say their name as they enter a room, I might think they’d completely blanked me if I didn’t see their tail lift ‘hello’ every single time. Once my older cat, Bartine, didn’t bother to tail lift, and I said “Oi! Barty! Rude?!”. She then gave me a quick, half-hearted lift, like she couldn’t be bothered with more than half wave, lol
Their tails quiver with excitement if there’s a very interesting treat up for grabs, or my favourite is a coquettish swirl which is 100% “I love you” because it’s always followed up with an approach to snuggle or headbutt. They also understand me when I say I love you, but particularly now because I see the swirl tail and say “I love you, too!” followed by indulgent pets.
I’ve had dogs all my life and have chosen zero of them for their intelligence. My best-ever dog (greyhound) was a beautiful dullard by dog-intelligence standards. My current companion is a box-'o-rocks pibble whose unbounded goofiness and joy makes passers-by smile.
But I once adopted a young doberman from a shelter who kept me on my toes. So did so many crazy-smart things that it’s hard to think of one. She’d unwind her lead off of obstacles, learn things I didn’t necessarily want her to learn, etc. She was a real challenge, like having a toddler around.
