

My take on the whole thing, is if you’re cool being called these words by anyone (gay or otherwise) in a similar fashion, then go for it. Otherwise, don’t. You show people how you want to be treated (though not everyone learns). Double standards like this, though, are not conducive of an accepting society, and they support continuous hatred, so, personally, I won’t do it.
To your story, I’m not sure who got you on trouble, but it might have been seen more as you maliciously goating them? Honestly, I don’t know, but it sounds plausible (stupid, yes, but plausible).
You’re not alone in this. This is a carryover from reddit, and it’s maddening. But, thus is life, I guess.