I think of my past self in a sympathetic way because my past self endured so much pain so that I can be happy today. I’d rather not think of my past self because I find it rather depressing so I generally avoid my past but I do recognize it’s existence. Although my old self really just feels like a husk and not a real person. In addition a lot of my past is a blur so I don’t remember much anyways.

I do keep old pictures so I can reminisce about the past if I feel like it. I generally feel bittersweet when looking at those old photos because I am reminded of how depressed I used to be but it also allows me to see how far I’ve come since then. Other things such as my deadname are entirely negative for me so that I something I have erased as best I can.