Been in the house for a most of the past couple weeks because the weather is pretty cold. I got no money and no job and it’s been brutal trying to find a job. My sober group doesn’t really talk to me and even after over 90 days alcohol free I still want to drink again because of fomo at bars. I still smoke thc as it makes staying home feel much better. Just in a huge rut and don’t know what to do. Still trying to get an appointment with a therapist and it’s taking forever so here I am venting my dirty laundry on here with no other options. My apologies for posting personal stuff on this page. Just got nowhere else to go for conversation
Congratulations on 90 days! Huge achievement, you deserve to feel proud. I’m also going through a bit of a journey with sobriety.
Around the three month mark was a bit of a difficult time for me, too. I’d gotten over the constant temptation, but was still tempted while IN bars. I was isolating socially, and spending more time alone.
Having that time alone, and having some free headspace rather than focusing on not drinking, led me to boredom and restlessness. There was a lot of ruminating on mistakes I’d made, or on things I’d missed out on, or on how I absolutely had to make the most of my free time. Lots of stress!
I picked up some new hobbies. I’ve found it satisfying to start trying things that I was always too self conscious to do before; running, taking photos outside, writing music. I walk a lot now. I listen to podcasts, and I wander around my area. I booked a bunch of little events for Halloween, so for instance today I walked two hours into the center of the city and went to a talk about medieval manuscripts, and then spent another two hours walking back.
I text myself ideas. Ideas for cool little visual designs, or photographs, or songs, or games I’d like to try to develop. Whether I revisit them, hmm… less often, but making the notes is enough for me right now. I think about my finances, and try to figure out where I could be saving money. I think about people I haven’t spoken to for a long time, and wonder about what small changes I can make to my life just to see what happens.
It’s hard to exist without occupying or distracting our minds, because the human mind tends to exist in a slightly negative emotional state when it’s not actively engaged with something (I think it’s called the Neutral Mode Network if you’d like to find out a little more about this). It’s uncomfortable, but sitting with my thoughts in a (hopefully mostly) healthy way was ultimately positive for me.
I’m only a little further into sobriety than you, 198 days, but I can honestly say these past two months have been sincerely transformative for me.
I hope you can find something in my comment, or in other comments, that helps. There is a stopdrinking community here on Lemmy which seems supportive, so that could also be worth checking out. Otherwise – stick to it, you’re doing a great job! Best of luck! 👍