• toomanypancakes@piefed.world
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    2 days ago

    I got harassed by men by the gay bar outside my apartment multiple times in my early twenties, back when I was a guy. They were all pretty minor overall, but it definitely freaked me out at the time. I lived in an apartment complex above a gay bar in downtown. It was a shitty, cheap place where there was no washer or dryer in unit and no fan in the bathroom. Mold was a constant problem.

    One time, I was informed I “swish so hard I bring three people with me”, a quote that’s stuck with me forever, and then a dude stood close by while another guy stroked my face. I had my dog with me so I didn’t know what else to do and basically just ran.

    Another time I was leaving the pizza shop also in this building complex, and a couple drunk guys out there struck up a conversation that quickly became my chest and crotch getting groped. Honestly less creepy than the face stroking, ngl.

    I uh, transitioned since all of that happened though. And some random chick like me saying some drunk guys at the gay bar really wanted to grope me doesn’t really carry much weight at this point.

    • Hadriscus@jlai.lu
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      2 days ago

      Somehow I don’t imagine gay men being the bullies/rapists that I know straight men can be. Good reminder they come in all shapes and sizes. Are these kind of encounters any less common now, post-transition?

      • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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        1 day ago

        Yeah umm…I cam hardly remember any crazy women, but I got so much of it from men…as a man.

        Forests and bears seem really tempting, I literally did research on how much it would cost.

      • Oka@sopuli.xyz
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        1 day ago

        Not everyone born with a penis is a bully/rapist. Please stop perpetuating this idea.

        • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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          5 hours ago

          Both statements can be true at the same time: The vast majority of men aren’t rapists, and the vast majority of rapists are men. That is, unfortunately, how statistics work.

        • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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          11 hours ago

          You’re right, but it’s also like a 9:1 ratio between penis-havers and vagina-havers doing the violence and the raping. 🤷‍♂️

      • toomanypancakes@piefed.world
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        16 hours ago

        Yeah, pretty much. I know different trans people think about themselves pre-transition differently, but that’s how I see it for myself

            • Getitupinyerstuffin'@lemmy.world
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              16 hours ago

              Look, I dont mean to upset anyone, what i said is true, its not hateful at all, just medical truth… dont freak out because I said “no man had ever had a baby”… im sorry if that sound hateful to you

              • Icytrees@sh.itjust.works
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                14 hours ago

                People who understand medical science don’t use the term “medical truth.”

                People who understand medicine know the difference between sex and gender.

                You said way more than “no man had ever had a baby.” Which is also not entirely true, trans men have gotten pregnant.

                If you’re trying to say “no male human has ever gotten pregnant” well, that’s a bit fuzzy, too, if you consider everyone with an XY chromosome “male.”

                https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2190741/

                • Getitupinyerstuffin'@lemmy.world
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                  3 hours ago

                  trans men have gotten pregnant.

                  Yeah… trans men. Meaning, people that were born female. No one born male has ever been impregnated, no womb. No one born female has ever impregnated someone, no testicles. And im trying to be polite, try not to be offended but imo, that is the most crucial part, that means no has ever actually changed gender, imo. Anyone can have surgery and change their appearance, or take drugs to change how they feel, but does that really mean someone has changed changed sex? To me, not in the most defining way it hasn’t. I really hope im not missing off anyone too much. Im been as nice and cordial but plainly about my opinion. And thats all this is, my opinion.

                  • Icytrees@sh.itjust.works
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                    12 minutes ago

                    I’m not offended. I’m disagreeing because your opinion is public.

                    Unfortunately, you’re still conflating sex with gender. Gender is performative while sex is biological, and neither are dichotomous or fixed. That’s not my opinion, that is the modern, scientific understanding.

                    You focused on one point in my reply and ignored the rest. You said men don’t get pregnant, but"man" is a gender, not a sex. People taxonomically called men have gotten pregnant, so that’s incorrect.

                    The paper I linked was about genetic males getting pregnant, to prove that both men and genetic males can get pregnant. I have more peer reviewed research and on changing both sex and gender, if you’re interested.

                    Are you open reading more on the subject and amending your opinion, or are you more interested in being right and holding onto your views? If it’s the latter, there isn’t a point to this conversation. A conversation which started when you told a trans person they can’t change gender.

      • Aneb@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Is it? Are you queer? A butch lesbian just touched me in a gay bar cause she had one too many