Our 15 year old has a new habit of coming into the kitchen every time we do, and stretching out directly in the middle of the walkway so he is in the way at all times. We have a pretty decent sized space, but he’s a very long cat when he wants to be. I feel like he defies the laws of physics because I don’t understand how he’s in the way literally everywhere. It makes me crazy.

So when we cook, which is usually 2-3 times a day, it’s like, need to open the oven? Cat. Need to get into the fridge? Cat! Sink? Cat. Oh, I need to dry my hands? Cat. We have definitely stepped on him by accident since he started doing this, but he’s still undeterred. He has bad arthritis, so I don’t mind when he sits in front of the oven when it’s on, because at least that one makes sense. (He has multiple heated beds too; don’t feel bad for him.) But it’s like, I would love to be able to grab water from the kitchen or feed the dog or do literally anything in there without almost stepping on my cat.

She loves to “clean” and nuzzle my beard usually first thing in the morning and before bed for a couple minutes, it’s annoying but I let it slide because it seems to make her really happy, I think maybe it’s a cat family bonding behavior 🤷‍♂️

I tried to curb it initially because she eventually bites and tugs out some hairs which hurts like hell

🤣 at least got her to mostly stop the actual beard hair pulling

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Second place: most nights at some point she decides to sleep on my back, which is only mildly bothersome, but she always makes back muffins first which isn’t particularly pleasant

Puking exclusively on the carpets

Beg for food, and then not eating it, letting it go to waste.

The part where they both died 10 years ago…

Stands directly behind me, yowling. Keeps it up until I pick him up and cuddle him. Does this only when I’m cooking.

Mostly refuses to drink water anywhere but from the bathroom sink. Refuses to eat any food that’s been in the food bowl for more than half a hour or so. Pees on my bathroom rug if I leave it on the floor when she’s around…

Cats are fucking assholes, let me tell you.

My sphynx likes the temperature higher than the humans, so every time the AC comes on, he meows in protest.

One wants to be petted 25h/day. That would be fine but there’s a catch: it must be in a specific corner of the house. So she asks me to be petted, then as I move my hand to pet her she runs to that corner, and the cycle repeats until I go there.

The other likes to sleep inside a blanket folded as it was a pocket. She undoes the “pocket” every time that she wakes up, and when she’s back I need to refold it, lift one of the sides of the blanket, wait for her milk dance, gently tap her butt as if saying “go, go”, then she gets in.

We have an auto feeder for their dry food that has a removable metal bowl beneath the spout. When the metal dish is in place, all the kibble pours out into the bowl. When the cats think the food is overdue, they will tap the metal bowl out of the way to get attention or wake the machine up or whatever cat reason…and the kibble bounces off the hard flat plastic surface and half of it spills onto the floor where the dog will gobble it up.

Sometimes I put the bowl back in place and sometimes I wait and see if they’ll learn the lesson on their own.

My cat will pick up socks from the dirty sock basket and carry them around in his mouth while yowling. Often this occurs right before he goes to hump something. No idea what the fuck he’s doing, but he leaves the socks everywhere.

He has claimed the bathroom sink as his bed. While this is very convenient for petting the cat while using the toilet, he tends to sleep in the morning and evening which is also the most likely times I want to brush my teeth.

Fortunately, the kitchen sink is just around the corner, so it is not necessary to disturb the adorably sink-napping cat.

Two cats, both have their own annoying thing. Black short hair bob tail: will get into any and all food if left out. Has learned to open cabinets and cupboard to get to hidden food. Has chewed through a cardboard box to chew through the bag of dog food, found him neck deep in the bag crunching away. Has chewed a hole in a canvas bag to get to dog food. Oh, and recently started peeing in the laundry. Long haired colorful: gets bored and wants to go outside, will wander the house screaming at the top of his lungs, clawing at every door. Happens anywhere between midnight and 3am, almost every night. Will bolt for the door if you have it open and aren’t watching for him. Where does he want to go? Rolls on his back in the road.

• Wakes me up some time between 2:00 and 5:00
• Goes under/behind the heavy furniture to throw up (or else, on my bed)
• Doesn’t eat her food, but cries for more food

We have a rabbit and a cat. The cat has been with us longer. Whenever I’m petting the rabbit, the cat comes up and wants to be pet too. And only with the hand I’m already petting the rabbit with. If I try to use my free hand, he’ll ignore it and head bump the hand petting the rabbit.