So she’s kind of been reluctant in people knowing where she lives. And from my understanding you can just leave if you want but when it comes to her house. And since yeah it’s her house I do wonder where the boundary lays. So I am an adult yes and my mom is out right now with my sister taking care of me and staying around the house which has me worried but she said she would be back either Sunday or Monday and I’m planning on taking my chances Sunday. But seriously what is the rules as it comes down to there are cameras my sister has access to so I think she might see me leaving anyway and question me on this. So what exactly are my rights as an adult? Can someone pick me up in the driveway and we just leave together and then come back home? I do think even if I leave and come back home that can show some form of trust and then I can eventually tell my mom what I did when she gets back home. I even hope I can use my recent birthday as an excuse to start dating. But the main point I want to bring up is if I can tell someone where I live and have them pick me up outside the house?
Going through OPs past posts, it’s interesting…
I hope you find the help ya need.
Interesting may be an understatement…
Is there some sort of overriding reason that your mom has chosen to obscure her address? If not, then no, there is no reason to accede to these ridiculous demands.
The reason is her mom could kick her out.
Op is male
There are no roles, only consequences. The real question here is what are the consequences, and we can’t know that.
There’s no legal reason you can’t do whatever you want.
There’s also no legal reason for your mom and sister to let you keep living there.
The worst-case scenario is that your mother kicks you out of the house. Which, in my opinion, wouldn’t be a bad thing for you if they do this because they’re upset you went on a date.
You only live once
Depending on where OP is, that’s not strictly true. If you are in a situation such as this, at least within the UK, you are not strictly entitled to the rights of a tenant if you do not pay rent nor do anything in lieu of rent.
Basically in the UK if you do not have a tenancy agreement, cohabitation agreement, or license to occupy, then it can start getting very complicated. If they were named as a property owner, or had a common understanding of financial interest in the property, they might be able to fight for a stake of the house, but that isn’t really the point here. In the end whether they can be kicked out legally is a complex issue (at least in the UK) and not really a question we could answer here.
Fair indeed.
Point still stands (at least depending on state) that without a residential lease agreement in the US then generally you would be considered a guest in your family’s house if over the age of 18. As such OP could be fairly easily evicted.
Nope, it defaults to an informal tenancy if they’ve been living there long enough (usually something like 3 months), and this includes the time when they were under 18. So if a child grows up in the home, they automatically become a tenant at 18. This is also regardless of whether they actually pay rent.
You don’t need a written contract for there to be a contract in place.
Informal tenancies seem to be state-dependant from what I can find (more concrete in california and florida), though I’d be fascinated to see if this has been legislated or litigated upon more generally. Of course verbal contracts are valid contracts, but that’s the sort of thing that would probably have to be sorted out in court.
In the end as advice for OP, I stand by the opinion that “they can’t kick you out without notice” is not a good idea to base one’s decisions on. You could be kicked out, whether it is legal or not, and the legality of such a no-notice kick out on a verbal and informal contract is certainly not an entirely non-disputed concept in all states.
OP could get kicked out, and maybe they could take their mother to court to try and get that solved eventually, but in the immediate they would end up houseless and in a pretty dire situation.
So first of all, your mom is reluctant in letting others know where she lives. It has nothing to do with rights but with decency and respecting her wishes.
As when it comes to your rights, actually you have very little as an adult. Technically now your mom could say that you have to move out and if she did that you would be on your own even if that would mean being homeless.
Since you are so eager to go on a date, asking about your rights wrt your mom I think you likely don’t understand why your mom is concerned and sound like an easy prey to someone that can just use you and you will deeply regret shortly after.
Why not meet someone in normal circumstances (like school, work etc) instead dating strangers?
Remember that having additional privileges is a small part of being adult, much bigger are responsibilities that you get and consequences of bad decisions that you make.
Don’t start your adult life with something you might regret.
It’s funny that kids wish they were adults while adults wish they were kids again.
Legally, yes. Normally, no.
Not true in a lot of places.
Of course, but OP hasn’t said where they’re from, and the only thing we have to go on is that they talk about their “mom”. This generally points to someone being from the US (however it could be someone that merely learned English from a US-style teacher).
At the very least, we can reasonably conclude they’re not in Canada, the UK or Australia.
Found the sister.
where? what did I miss? Now I’m invested and damn curious.
I agree. It all seems off.
This seems like something you all should be discussing in family therapy.
If it’s your house and you pay the bills you can make the rules, if isn’t your house and you pay no bills you will have to follow the rules, it doesn’t matter how much old you are actually.
User name checks out here
What does that mean?
The user name of the parent comment is “TheBigBrother”. Big Brother is also the name of the totalitarian regime in the dystopian book Nineteen Eighty-Four from George Orwell. The other commentator referenced the Big Brother in 1984 to the comment of the parent comment thereby implying, that the original comment with the “my house, my rules” is too totalitarian or strict.
I’ve become 25.
I think there is some context here you didn’t mention. If you’re 25, why is your sister taking care of you?
If isn’t your house, at least you pay the bills or a part of it? If you are there living WO paying anything you will not get any benefits IMO.
Edit: there is a big difference between living with your parents and living from your parents.
The cameras are on the outside and will send a notification if movement is detected.
How old are you? You’re an adult, but your sister is taking care of you, and you’re worried about your mum finding out you’ve been on a date? What?
What is this? There is some information missing here to make it make sense. Are you part of a restrictive cult? Are you actually 15yo? There must be something else going on here!
My mom is on rehab after an owi so she’s out for a month. I don’t drive so I have no ability to go out my sister is basically here to make sure the house is okay and I have the things I need.
Does your mom or sister have legal custody of you?
No not really.
Others have already addressed the main points of your post, but I would just like to add:
Please be very certain that the person you are giving your address to is someone you can trust. Do you already know them in real life, or did you meet them online?
Online
Through Facebook dating.
Please be very careful. You should try to meet in a public location, don’t let them convince you to go to some less public place. Once you have established that they are who they say they are and that they are trustworthy, you can consider changing that up. But please do make your first meeting in a public place like a coffee shop or a restaurant.
I’m guessing you don’t have a car. Is there somewhere nearby you could walk to or bicycle to, for someone to meet you and pick you up? Then you would only be on camera leaving the house, not breaking any house rules. This isn’t about law, this is about your relationship with your mother. You can do what you want, but different actions may have different results in your family dynamics.
You don’t sound like an adult.
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Oh trust me I have tried. My mom tends not to believe that I can find anyone but right now she’s gone for an entire month.
Do you ever leave the house? Like to go to work or the library or to hang out with friends? Just leave as if you’re doing one of those things, and then meet your date somewhere.
If you never leave the house, that is something you might consider addressing before you start dating. There can be lots of reasons to leave the house that don’t involve an unwitting stranger getting pulled into your rather unique family situation.
Second. Even if you’re an adult, you’re in your mother’s house. It sucks but it’s her rules. If she doesn’t want people coming to her house, then respect that. Get picked up somewhere else.
As stated in the above post, don’t involve someone else by giving them permission that your mother would not give.
For sure, best case it’s like this, just respect for homeowner’s property.
Also questions of abuse and confinement possibly? Which if present, needs to be addressed. And relying on an Internet stranger for an escape is 1) super unfair to the internet stranger or 2) a great way to land in an even more abusive relationship.
This one is firmly above lemmy pay grade. OP might need local support resources that can help them within their specific legal and cultural situation.
Are you in the US?
