Not really me. A friend of mine is moving out of state. His neighbor has been a total dick the entire time he’s lived there. Constantly commenting on how my friend’s yard isn’t as good as his. Mean to my friend’s wife and kids for no reason. Just an asshole of a person.
What are some ideas for fun pranks my friend can leave behind?
Order some joke/fake lottery tickets. One of the ones where every ticket wins $30k. Drop one on his driveway before he heads to work in the AM for him to find. I’ve only done this to two people and they both fell hook, line, and sinker for it. One lady was calling her husband to come pick up the winning ticket to keep it safe.
Make his house the most famous house in the state:
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In the middle of the night, take a bunch of nitrogen fertilizer and lay out a “Fuck You!” message on his lawn. Water it into the ground.
The message won’t appear for months until after you move away.
How does it’s science work? Can you elaborate.
Just makes grass grow greener and faster where the fertilizer has been placed. Put too much down and it will “burn” the grass and kill it.
Magnets
Draw a big dick in the lawn
With salt for a delayed and long lasting effect
Hahahahah, gold
Spread dandelion seeds. You can buy them online and literally just toss them everywhere and he will never be rid of them. Or kudzu Vine that shit never goes away
Can spread to other neighbors’ yards. I like the fertilizer idea because it doesn’t spread.
You can get them in pink and white too! As an extra fuck you over the normal yellow which can happen on their own.
Make seed bombs of pink dandelions and launch them before a storm.
Side note; I want pink dandelions but I’m sure my neighbors would hate me… but I also have an asshole neighbor and I’ve totally thought about seeding his property with them and letting them spread to mine…. I won’t do it, because cameras, but I want to so much.
Don’t intentionally spread invasive plants, local ecosystems have it hard enough as it is.
Why be petty and justify the neighbor… just move and never think of them again.
BOOOOO
The best revenge is living well.
So we need some form of sentient water hole to attack him?
I hate that saying. Living well is better than wasting time with revenge. But living well is not revenge.
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That’s an interesting way to say burglary.
Thank you Dr. Jordan B. Peterson from Youtube
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Let Scientology and the Jehovah’s witnesses know he’s interested in knowing more. Do the same with military recruiters.
Sign him up to receive junk mail from sex toy stores. Use his name and his neighbors’ addresses. Maybe try to get travel brochures sent to him for countries known for sex tourism.
If you are very evil, sign him up to recieve questional stuff, but use your other neighbor’s adresses. Ideally not something that will be repeatedly spammed at them.
Nah, that only works in super close-knit, small town communities.
I don’t know any of my neighbor’s last names and I’ve lived here for 12 years. I’m in a semi-small town. I know my direct neighbors first names, and that’s about it, because anything more is unnecessary.
If I got something sent to a random name at my address, I’d treat it the same way as junk mail addressed to me; recycled without a second thought. I still get stuff for 3 other former residents, including pension stuff, despite being here over a decade so…
I get junk mail addressed to a Pablo Picasso at my address periodically.
I keep to myself, so I have no idea what I could’ve done to piss them off. I also get periodic mail for the previous homeowner, despite me living here for almost 7 years.
That never happened to… Pablo Picasso!
You want to ruin someone’s life? Plant some fucking greenbriar on the property. Genus Smilax. Thorny vines that grow from rhizome-like tubers in the ground. Grows a little slower than kudzu but I’d rather be around kudzu. Harder to eradicate than white supremacy. Once it’s got it’s little tumors in your soil, it’s over forever. It’ll sent shoots out just under the grass to spread out like strawberries. If you get both genders of the plant in one place, the females will grow berries that the birds eat and then they’ll shit the seeds everywhere, the complicit little fuckpukes. If you don’t dig up ALL the plant, it’ll just grow back harder. I’ve seen them strangle a dogwood tree to death. They’ll grow 40 feet high if they’ve got something to climb. There is no commercial, medical or craft use for them. The leaves have a waxy coating that protects them from herbicide. I haven’t tried fire yet but it probably won’t work.
Nah, hot day? It’ll show up same day.
Look up where the property line really is, and if the neighbor is encroaching get it surveyed and enforced the the new owner can reclaim part of the neighbor’s land
Move his house 2 inches to the left, so when he tries to unlock his front door, he misses the keyhole.
You cheeky fucker.
Damn that made me realize how much I miss that show.
It’s a Pete and Pete reference. Helps if you’re old.
Oh man, that’s too new for me, and I’m not even THAT old (just mildly old)
Put a yard sign up that says “future home of thousand wags dangerous animal shelter and child sex offender rehabilitation facility”
If your, erm, “friend” is planning to but has not sold
yourhis house, then this is an even more terrible idea that asks for trouble.I didn’t mean to imply you have no friends, so sorry if you got that impression
If Canadian, chuck a bag of milk in his eavestroughing. The heat will rot the milk and the bag will degrade in the sun till one day it fails, releasing STANK.
“Gutters” for anyone else about to look up “eavestroughing”
why is milk sold in a bag
Why is unknown but the answer is Canada.
Who hurt you?
