Boiled alive
Starving, because I couldn’t remember where I hid my nuts.
My dog finds and eats squirrel peanuts semi-regularly on walks. It’s cuter than when he tries to catch them directly.
In an accident.
A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.
Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky “We… we… I… found-” before Glassgow cuts her off.
“Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan.”
Asphyxiation
Uhhhh.
Whatever it is, it’s going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.
Tree fall maybe?
Nihilistic fruit
Furiously stroking my willy.
Inviting my Farmville girlfriend over.
Not the Fediverse Chick?
She’s blessed my inbox twice, so not sure!
It’s fairly self explanatory
Does it have any resemblance to Ice9?
At least I would know what was coming, three would come before me.
Meh…
