It was right next to a squeaky wood staircase and a main door that slams based on the weather. Loud metal gates that also slam. Every single upstairs neighbor thinking their floor isn’t thin wood. Every upstairs neighbor letting their cabinets bang closed, making “thudthudthudthud” echo through my room while they toss pots and pans in the same cabinets carelessly. Shared kitchen that’s an automatically closing door with a heavy spring and up the stairs. Can’t use the window sometimes in the summer due to a neighbors grill blowing smoke into the room at random, while they go against city code by using said grill half a foot away from the structure. Had to seal a massive hole under the cabinets and along trim of the cabinets due to a neighbor in the other side of the complex blowing their weed smoke into the structure and right into my room. Before sealing the place yourself: you better believe you’re getting a few carpet beetles that are gonna fuck up your clothes. Tiny sink that you can barely clean a damn thing in, and no sink in the bathroom so you have to shave over the same fucking sink where you wash food and clean things, or just over the toilet because someone decided that’s where a bathroom mirror/cabinet should be. The plumbing from upper units going straight down until right behind my bathroom, so flushes from above get loud as fuck. A goddamn sliding door to the bathroom too? What kind of braindead sack of shit suggests putting a sliding door to a bathroom that goes RIGHT OVER A FUCKING WALL OUTLET. Want an outlet in the bathroom to charge your shaver? Fuck you, use the 2.5 square feet of counter space where you meal prep or dry dishes. Poor room design making me use a twin mattress that was stuck between two walls. Pre-installed shelving half-usable because it was blocked by pre-installed shelving. Bathroom fan that was on 24/7 by design, constantly pulling in air from the stinky stairwell. Junkies roaming fucking everywhere as soon as you leave the property. Constantly fucked up laundry machines since people are fucking stupid, or them leaving their shit in one of the 4 machines for several hours while all of the others are fucking full. Oh, and no, there are no laundromats because properly values have been completely fucked by shitty fucking investment companies that build cramped and overpriced apartment complexes. Want a front office? Fuck you. Want a reasonable building manager? Nah, he’s a worthless sack of shit that sees your growing anger at living in a shithole as being “problematic.” Quiet hours? Fuck em. Your neighbors are most likely fucking troglodytes that don’t give a SINGLE FUCK.
All of this goddamn bullshit in the joy of 150 goddamn square feet. I can’t believe I held out 5 years losing my mind there, through all the fucking sleepless nights. Hope the place gets hit with a fucking meteor.
Micro studio in a major city.
It was right next to a squeaky wood staircase and a main door that slams based on the weather. Loud metal gates that also slam. Every single upstairs neighbor thinking their floor isn’t thin wood. Every upstairs neighbor letting their cabinets bang closed, making “thudthudthudthud” echo through my room while they toss pots and pans in the same cabinets carelessly. Shared kitchen that’s an automatically closing door with a heavy spring and up the stairs. Can’t use the window sometimes in the summer due to a neighbors grill blowing smoke into the room at random, while they go against city code by using said grill half a foot away from the structure. Had to seal a massive hole under the cabinets and along trim of the cabinets due to a neighbor in the other side of the complex blowing their weed smoke into the structure and right into my room. Before sealing the place yourself: you better believe you’re getting a few carpet beetles that are gonna fuck up your clothes. Tiny sink that you can barely clean a damn thing in, and no sink in the bathroom so you have to shave over the same fucking sink where you wash food and clean things, or just over the toilet because someone decided that’s where a bathroom mirror/cabinet should be. The plumbing from upper units going straight down until right behind my bathroom, so flushes from above get loud as fuck. A goddamn sliding door to the bathroom too? What kind of braindead sack of shit suggests putting a sliding door to a bathroom that goes RIGHT OVER A FUCKING WALL OUTLET. Want an outlet in the bathroom to charge your shaver? Fuck you, use the 2.5 square feet of counter space where you meal prep or dry dishes. Poor room design making me use a twin mattress that was stuck between two walls. Pre-installed shelving half-usable because it was blocked by pre-installed shelving. Bathroom fan that was on 24/7 by design, constantly pulling in air from the stinky stairwell. Junkies roaming fucking everywhere as soon as you leave the property. Constantly fucked up laundry machines since people are fucking stupid, or them leaving their shit in one of the 4 machines for several hours while all of the others are fucking full. Oh, and no, there are no laundromats because properly values have been completely fucked by shitty fucking investment companies that build cramped and overpriced apartment complexes. Want a front office? Fuck you. Want a reasonable building manager? Nah, he’s a worthless sack of shit that sees your growing anger at living in a shithole as being “problematic.” Quiet hours? Fuck em. Your neighbors are most likely fucking troglodytes that don’t give a SINGLE FUCK.
All of this goddamn bullshit in the joy of 150 goddamn square feet. I can’t believe I held out 5 years losing my mind there, through all the fucking sleepless nights. Hope the place gets hit with a fucking meteor.
Man, your punchline really sealed it. I’m hoping for that meteor too. ☄️🤞