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That Family Guy scene where Stewie says “mom, mom, mommy, mommy” over and over again and then runs out of the room
accurate
This. And don’t forget all the complaints. Food bowl empty, box not completely empty, blanket not folded just right, chair occupied by human and not cat, too hot, too cold, food need food, play with me.
I had a cat named murderous nightmare that used to talk to me. Even have a video of it from my wife’s phone. She would yell at me while I was dressing to go to work, when I was cooking dinner and when I got home from anywhere.
Why is my food bowl empty???
What are you eating, can i have some?!?
That will be about 80% of the conversation based on my experience.
Rooahroo opera singing mostly, which means “You’re home you’re home you came hooome muuuuuuuum!” And further rooarraows which means in a singsong voice “A WALK a WALK we are going a walk!” Soft aroos mean “I love you” Various tones of low roo sounds mean she needs me to notice something, to warn me about something, or wants me to open a door or is not feeling well.
Other talking includes letting me know about the other dogs around us and whether or not they are safe and friendly. We have big conversations about this. There’s also “I’m sleepy, I’m doing a big yawn mum look” There’s the obvious danger growl. Sometimes she’ll tell me about how comfortable she is, or will soon be. We properly talk and have conversations, she is very good at expressing herself. Or I understand her well. Both.
“Delivery! Delivery!” (Includes usps, UPS, FedEx, Amazon, door dash)
Also “cat! Cat! Cat! Play please!”
Sometimes (rarely, if she eats don’t she shouldn’t have) in the middle of the night “my tummy hurts, I need to go outside”
“I need to go outside, please. There’s something out there I want to bark at”
My cat does this bark/chirp and gives me this frustrated confused look. He’s essentially saying “Me, attention me” while he stretches his hands at me and “pretends” it’s just stretching.
He thinks he’s clever but I got him all figured out.
One of my cats will get close to me, drop to the floor, streeeeeeetch slowly toward me … then fucking run when I move
If my guinea pigs are in their cage they’re yelling at me to get them some veggies from the fridge. But if they’re in my bedroom they just chatter which I assume is general banter.
I’ll be honest, I had no idea guinea pigs talked. Now I must scour the internet for videos of guinea pigs talking to their owners!
Did you get lost in the piggie reels?
I now want one! Except I already have two cats…so probably not a good idea
They are very social animals so they are better in pairs or hordes.
You are thinking about making salmon and I expect to be given most, if not all, of it. For this reason, I will not be eating my own food to save room. Also I want to sleep outside tonight even though I can see it is stormy and raining.
Later that night: WTF let me in! Can’t you see it’s raining out here!?
We have two dogs and two cats. All of them talk, but our husky mix is in a class by himself. He carries on detailed conversations all the time. If he could form consonants as well as vowels he would just speak English. And occasionally he sings the blues, quite beautifully.
Denali: “Both cats are on the bed, although Sue is hiding in the headboard. There are three rabbits out back near the windows. Three people are walking dogs somewhere on our streets. And the postman is running late today.” Me: “Okay, thanks for the status report.” Denali: “That was just the summary. Let me give you the details…”
Cat starring out window: " LOOK HOOMAN THERES BIRDS!"
Cat runs to back door: “lemme out, lemme out, lemme out”
lets cat outside, car vrooms past 20 seconds later
Scaredy cat gets spooked by car: “Lemme in, lemme in, lemme in”
cat proceeds to explain what i assume is a tall tale of heroics, birds, and loud mechanical beasts he defended the hoomans from
Repeat above a few times a day.
This morning, my rooster was chasing one of my hens around yelling at her because she caught a frog and just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had to rehome my birds a couple months ago, and I miss them dearly. My absolute favorite part of the day was dumping the bowl of that day’s kitchen scraps off the back porch. They had become so accustomed to it that if they heard the back door open, the damn things would come running like it was some weird chickeny religious call to prayer.
You dump the bowl and then watch them go to town. When everything’s nearly gone, one chicken will get up to nerve to grab the best goody that’s left and tear off. And now they all abandoned the rest of it to chase her and play Bell Peppers Seed Pod Tag.
I miss my birdies. :(
My birds love my daughter, she will usually go down there with some leftover snack for them, and now two of them will sit down in front of her to be cuddled.
My cat didn’t use to, but now she’s very talkative when she’s happy. I guess I reinforced it 🤷♂️… Because now she’ll chirp, purr, and meow when curling up on me, when I come home from being gone a few days, and when I give her treats… She’s the best.
They definitely learn what works.
Our old girl was pretty quiet in her younger years. Then she started hanging out in the kitchen as my wife cooked dinner for the kids, and she’d meow. Then Meow. Then MEOW! And my wife would feed her early just to shut her up.
So now she meows all the time in the kitchen
And they say we’re smarter than cats…
My wife and I make up what my cat says. She has “conversations” with us. If we say something to her, she meows back. So we will say things like “what should we make for dinner?” And of course she just says “meow!” And we say, “no, I don’t want kibble for dinner. Think of something else.” So she again says, “meow!” And we say, “no, I don’t want canned wet food either!”
You and your wife sound delightful. Are either of you single?
My dog judges my parenting. She barks and snorts if I don’t help the kids quickly enough.
