They shouldn’t be able to do that!

    • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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      1 day ago

      If I block them, I want to stop them from engaging with me.

      I don’t want to let them continue to engage with me and other people in my comments, but just lose my ability to see what they’re saying about me.

      That’s like saying the purpose of a locked door isn’t to keep people out, it’s to prevent you from seeing what they’re doing in your house

      • FaceDeer@fedia.io
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        1 day ago

        The engagement between the two of you is over. He’s saying stuff to other people now, not to you.

        I don’t want to let them continue to engage with me and other people in my comments, but just lose my ability to see what they’re saying about me.

        You want to control what they see and do? No, you don’t get to decide that for other people.

        If you don’t want to lose your ability to see what they’re saying then don’t block them.

          • FaceDeer@fedia.io
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            1 day ago

            A restraining order is something a judge grants. That’d be a moderator or administrator in the context of the Threadiverse, and they do have the ability to prevent people from posting. Bringing something to their attention is what the “report” link is for, it’s their decision after that.

            I remain firm in my opinion that giving everybody the ability to unilaterally apply restraining orders to everybody they want to for whatever reason they want to leads to bad outcomes. That’s how Reddit does it and it’s pretty badly broken over there.

            • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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              1 day ago

              It being broken over there doesn’t make it not broken over here.

              Report is good, but why should I have to let other people read my content? Why is this a hill you want to die on?

              • missingno@fedia.io
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                1 day ago

                This is a public forum. If you post to a public forum, you should expect your posts to be public. If you’re posting something you don’t want to be public, all I can say to you is that this isn’t the right platform for that.

                • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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                  1 day ago

                  thats exactly the take i used to have, until it was explained to me how harmful that is to persecuted minorities and drives them off the platform.

                  I evidently cannot do a good job of explaining why that would be the case and (apparently) why thats even a problem, but I believe it is.

                  • missingno@fedia.io
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                    1 day ago

                    Well, you haven’t even tried to explain it. You’ve just been saying “but minorities” over and over while refusing to elaborate.

              • M0oP0o@mander.xyz
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                1 day ago

                Report is good, but why should I have to let other people read my content? Why is this a hill you want to die on?

                Why should you have to let other people read what you post on a public site?! Is that really the hill you want to die on?

                • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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                  1 day ago

                  Yes, it is.

                  Because it’s my content.
                  Because it’s not just a public site, public/private is a false dichotomy.
                  Because social networks need to provide effective anti-harassment tools, and if admins/mods are too overworked then that needs to be self-serviced.

                  Defederation exists
                  Instance bans exist
                  Community bans exist
                  Why are all of those good, but individual bans aren’t?
                  Why are all of those effective (at least partially), but not for individuals?
                  Or is the argument that all of those should be disposed of, too?

                  • M0oP0o@mander.xyz
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                    1 day ago

                    No, it is not.

                    Because as soon as you post, it is not your content. Because it is a site build around public discourse, there is no dichotomy here let alone a false one. Because there are anti-harassment tools in place, you just want a new way to harass.

                    Defederation exists

                    Instance bans exist

                    Community bans exist

                    Why are all of those good, but individual bans aren’t?

                    Why are all of those effective (at least partially), but not for individuals?

                    Or is the argument that all of those should be disposed of, too?

                    Because they are not done by end users in a vacuum. You can go and make your own instance and do all of these things, and are encouraged to do so.

              • FaceDeer@fedia.io
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                1 day ago

                It being broken over there doesn’t make it not broken over here.

                It being different over here is what makes it not broken over here. The effects that makes Reddit’s block system suck so badly are not present here.

        • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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          1 day ago

          Engaging with me is more than my ability to respond.
          Them replying to my content is still engaging with me, no matter if I can see it. Them telling misinformation to other people in my thread is still engaging with me.

          • M0oP0o@mander.xyz
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            1 day ago

            You are (I know this is a shock) not the centre of the internet. Your inability to police what other people say is not a bug, but a feature.

      • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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        1 day ago

        Nah, in a public discussion, you/authorship isn’t the primary concern, the text & interest of the public is primary. Whether you want to see that text is your liberty. The liberty of the public, however, is to likewise decide for themselves whether to read the text no matter who authors it regardless of petty disagreements between authors. Your disagreements aren’t ours.

        Just like in offline public discussions, no one should decide whether the public gets to see a marvelous takedown of text you happened to write just because you disagree with the author of that spectacular takedown.

        • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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          1 day ago

          I disagree that all content on lemmy should be treated as strictly public. I think that there are (or should be) nuance to that.

          I realize that federation creates technical challenges to meet that strictly, but a best effort is better than no effort.

          for example, I think its reasonable to have communities that are invite-only. AFAIK thats not currently possible in lemmy, but giving a best-effort to make that happen would be better than nothing. Instances known to ignore it could be defederated, clients known to ignore it could be blocked. swiss cheese defense.

          • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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            1 day ago

            I disagree that all content on lemmy should be treated as strictly public.

            Acknowledging your disagreement, it’s observable fact that it is. It’s readable to the public & open to public input. That input may be more concerned with responding to ideas (eg, as a criticism or corroboration) and presenting that to the public reader than for communicating specifically to the author of the text that inspired it. I certainly read primarily for content & ideas and respond accordingly like I’m trying to show the public something. Anyone can respond.

            Comments I release to the public I treat as the public’s & not really mine. If that’s not for you, then I don’t think you’re identifying a technical limitation but a disagreement with design goals: the design of lemmy makes much sense for public discussion.

            With private, direct messages, you may have a better argument.

            • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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              1 day ago

              so just a point here - the OP never actually said that the blockee shouldn’t be able to see what the blocker posted, they weren’t actually complaining about visibility of their own content.
              they were complaining that when they blocked someone, the blockee could continue the harassing behaviour and the blocker would just be ignorant of the slander being said of them. if the blockee escalated to doxxing or something, they wouldn’t even know, and the blockee could do it and would be unlikely to be reported since reporting on behalf of someone (i expect) is much less common unless the offense is both egregious and trivially verifiable.

              • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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                1 day ago

                They were complaining the blockee could write any public response even an impersonal one.

                Doxxing & other issues likely already violate rules & I don’t see how that would happen, since we don’t reveal much about ourselves. I don’t see how defamation would happen without a real identity. Harassment likely wouldn’t fit the legal definition: at most, some call being incredibly annoying harassment.

                I’ve seen threatening replies I didn’t report (because I consider online threats vacant hyperbole) result in bans.

                • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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                  1 day ago

                  I think that the important thing to keep in mind is that not every lemmy community is a community of strangers. some lemmy communities can overlap significantly with IRL communities, like sports teams, neighborhoods, and classes. Many people in these lemmy communities may know eachother, even if the mods dont know them.
                  I dont have specific examples of this, since im an old fart and not a school kid with a bunch of extracurricular activities, but are the kinds of cases I’m worried about.

                  in these kinds of examples, the harassment may be both especially potent and especially subtle, because they’ll be using dog whistles and inside jokes, so it may not be something a mod is equipped to handle. Ideally parents would get involved (in the case of schoolkids), but we know that doesn’t always happen.

          • FreedomAdvocate@lemmy.net.au
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            1 day ago

            I didn’t say I do - the software developers of Lemmy did. If you don’t like it go back to Reddit where they do exactly what you are asking for.

            • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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              1 day ago

              I’ve never been on reddit, fucking crazy puritan.

              and guess what: the developers of lemmy can change it if they want to.
              but meanwhile here you are, insulting people for having differing opinions, and discussing why they have those reasons. huh, funny.

              • FreedomAdvocate@lemmy.net.au
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                7 hours ago

                fucking crazy puritan.

                Where did this come from? lol What a bizarre thing to say over this.m, especially when you’re the one crying over people saying mean things behind your back lol.

                and guess what: the developers of lemmy can change it if they want to.

                No shit sherlock.

                but meanwhile here you are, insulting people for having differing opinions

                Where am I doing that?