I have a couple friends like this. Live with their moms, over 25, never had a job or anything. Only plays games. I feel so bad for them because they don’t think they are smart but they definitely are, they just dont spend their time wisely.
Im not judging. That life sounds great when youre young. But I dont want them to wake up at 35 and be even more depressed because they’ve never done anything in life.
It would be well and good if they were happy like this but they definitely aren’t. Im just not sure how someone like that could even integrate into society. I give them advice here and there and sometimes talk about jobs with them, but they are also self proclaimed “lazy” and never really branch out to try new things. I try to send them links to code camps and stuff like that i think they’ll enjoy, but they dont do it. I’ve offered to hang out with them when im their town (we’ve been friends for years and know each other very well so this isnt weird) but they cant drive either which makes ir hard.
I already know most replies wil be “ITS FINE TO HAVE A BORING LIFE LEAVE THEM ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO “SAVE” THEM” but a boring life is different than a healthy life, imo.
Edit: i knew there’d be a lot of misinterpretation and people self reflecting on their own lives as a result of this post. Regardless, I am glad for the discussion. Thank you to those of you who had constructive comments instead of outright attacks.
Have you considered these people don’t consider you to be that important in their own lives? It’s not the job of friends to fix the perceived foibles of their friends, unless a friend actually asks for help.
Friends are just people who enjoy each others company and offer as much or as little emotional support when able/willing. When that stops being the case it’s fine to drift apart.
Also, really take a step back, ‘cause you literally wrote this:
Never said I was going to actually try to help. Just for ideas. Also I stand by that they dont spend their time wisely, thats an actual fact, sorry if you dont like it.
Not judging. That’s an actual fact.
To me, in this context, these two statements aren’t opposing each other as I think the word judge can have some nuance to it. For example I could say I found your original comment overly aggressive, but I don’t judge you for it. By which I would mean that I have an opinion about your actions, but I’m not assigning you a moral value on that basis.
Well you can choose to ignore the definitions of words. I am not judging.
And yet, you also judge my understanding of word definitions to be insufficient. See the difference? It’s like there’s two axes in play, good or bad, and correct and incorrect.