The Old Man waiting for you at the end of time in Chrono Trigger is Gaspar, the Guru of Time. (At least in the US - in Japan he was called Hash)

I thought it was fitting since I ever so briefly ran my own instance (endofti.me) when I first jumped ship from Reddit.

Before I begin - lightsabers are an awesome fantasy weapon and I would love to have one.

Lightsabers are a big reason that Star Wars is garbage.

Hardly any lightsaber fights in the OT, used by all of three people (4 if you count Han, which I don’t). Once the prequel trilogy was made and special effects were cheaper and easier, lightsabers everywhere, and instead of a lightsaber fight being an old fashioned samurai duel where the story and the fight are enhancing each other, now it’s just a spectacle. Has it been more than fifteen minutes since we saw a lightsaber? FSSH, vwoom.

Andor is regarded as one of the better pieces of Star Wars media - no lightsabers, no Jedi, just people versus the machine of the Empire.

Mandalorian S1 was straight fire. Then they introduced the Darksaber. Now nobody likes Mando anymore.

I’m not out to yuck anyone’s yum. You can like bad movies, or movies that are big tentpole spectacles but aren’t ever going to engage with you mentally. I went and saw Episode IX in theaters opening night and it was as entertaining as Hobbs and Shaw. My brain didn’t get anything out of it and it was good to see Palpatine again because he was the only one in the movie that felt like a real person with, you know, motivation and stuff. But I left the theater and I don’t really think about it (except for times like now) because it didn’t engage with me mentally. There was nothing there.

Just lightsabers.

Endless lightsabers.

I’m not crazy about all the callbacks and remember-mes either (looking at you Rogue One, Boba Fett, Solo, etc), but that’s a different rant.

Sure, OK.

I don’t know if it would meet your “no kid’s movie” requirement, but Hocus Pocus has been in my spooky season rotation forever.

Also, it’s technically a musical I guess but the animated Legend of Sleepy Hollow narrated/sung by Bing Crosby is a classic.

Everything else on my list has already been mentioned, but I would be remiss not to mention one of my wife’s favorites, Corpse Bride. If you were already looking at Nightmare Before Christmas, I think you’ll enjoy it.

WRT Secret of Mana - maybe play the first little bit yourself until you unlock a second character, then save and you two can start from there. Trust me.

Also, I know it’s a side scroller, but Castle Crashers is great fun if you haven’t tried it yet.

Pretty much any of the SNES era arcade ports: TMNT, Knights of the Round, Sunset Riders… Though maybe not all of them in one sitting.

That’s all I’ve got off the top of my head. Happy gaming!

To be fair,

+1 for FMA: Brotherhood though, that shit slaps and given the above commenter’s statement I also think they’d like it

Ooh, I’m torn. They’re both NES “games” - Rocky & Bullwinkle had sluggish controls, awful hitboxes, and I can only describe its graphics AND sound design as offensive. That said, at least it technically played like a game. Where’s Waldo didn’t even have that. I think Where’s Waldo is the worst, but it’s close.

I mean, if we’re talking release order, then Return of the Jedi did get a sequel! It was called The Phantom Menace and ahh

Ahahaha hahahahahahahaha. I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I almost made it through with a straight face.

Kids can be surprisingly coordinated. I remember one early Christmas morning, when my sister and I had gotten up while it was still dark out, and I asked her to toss me the flashlight.

The next thing I saw was a giant blue Maglite flying end over end towards my face. Luckily the impact only cut my lip, but man that was a scary few seconds.

When I was younger, I’d be mortified. Now? “If into the archives you go, only pain will you find.” You didn’t have to look, so that’s on you, my dude.

There are no good guys in Borderlands. Full stop.

I very briefly hosted my own Lemmy instance at endofti.me. The username seemed appropriate there. Just kept it when I moved instances.

There’s plenty more, but here’s a few of mine:

RedLetterMedia - Got pretty big on YouTube about 15 years back for their review of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, where they made an actual, honest critique of why the film (and later the other prequel films) didn’t really work on their own merits and hid it inside a 1.5-hour skit about an elderly serial killer. They’re, uh… they’re not for everyone, but I like them. Also, Macaulay Caulkin as a recurring guest star. Worth your time.
Technology Connections - Did you ever want to know why ceiling fans start at max power when you turn them on? Because I already knew before I clicked on the video and I still watched the whole damn thing. I swear this person could make ANYTHING sound interesting, no matter how dry.
They’ve been mentioned already but Second Wind - I mean, Yahtzee Croshaw pretty much picked up his fanbase and moved it here when his bosses at The Escapist made the boneheaded move to fire, uh… his boss? I think? I don’t watch a whole lot of the other stuff, but I haven’t had any complaints about anything of theirs I’ve watched.
Project Farm - This dude legit goes out with his own money, buys like 8 different items in the same category (mainly tools, though his most recent video is on space heaters) and subjects them all to fairly rigorous testing to see which one is the best for the money. If I’m looking to buy something, I’ll check and see if Project Farm has a video on it first.
LGR (Lazy Game Reviews) - I think someone already mentioned this as well, but I thought I’d bring it up too. The channel covers more than just games now and just covers all kinds of (mainly 80s/90s) computer tech. Plus, Clint’s a good dude.
Colin Furze - He’s a bit extra but he started making Wolverine claws in his little garage workshop and now he’s building a “secret” tunnel under his house. Following this man’s videos are wild. He basically says “what if (crazy idea)” and then just… does it.

edit: omg how did I forget DankPods? Of course he has like five channels now. He’s got a masters in music, he made a living playing jazz drums, he started a dumb YouTube channel about fixing iPods, and now he has a warehouse where he plays drums and games and fixes cars and all kinds of shit. Wade is great.