I used to have a coworker who would also say things like “I’ll ping you after the meeting” and I’d chuckle because it sounded so stupid.

One day he asked me why I was smirking and I lied and told him “You know what ‘pinging’ means, right? It’s the act of putting a metal rod in your urethra and tapping it with a tuning fork.”

He NEVER said it again.

A can of chili over some cooked rice, add a little salt and extra hot sauce. This was my broke young adult fancy meal.

30 years ago I expected this, but thought it was going to be sexier.

The future fucking blows.