I don’t listen to many podcasts, but those two are pretty great.
All the cybersecurity in the world won’t matter if a handful of manipulated idiots people shoot a bunch of unguarded and remotely located substation transformers.
As a fellow virgin, if you actually do want to not be a virgin, but see yourself as having “failed” then think deeply on what the reason is.
First of all, if you’ve “failed” then what did you actually try that failed? Do you constantly take steps to meet new people and find friends, male and female, whether in hobbies or online or anywhere? If not, why not? If you have, and therefore have lots of friends you speak with regularly, are you recruiting them to help you find a romantic partner? Meeting lots of people, making friends, and then asking those friends for help is a great way to accomplish almost anything. It’s much easier early in life, but it’s never impossible.
If you have taken steps to meet lots of people (and I mean a lot of people), but none of them or their single-and-looking friends wanted to date you, then did they give reasons? What is it about you that they don’t like? Are you taking care of yourself? Maintaining good personal hygiene? Dressing well? Do your peers find you unpleasant to be around? Are you simply boring? If you meet lots of people and all of them reject you, there’s likely something you’re not doing that you need to be doing. Work on yourself to be someone that people want to be around.
If any of what I’ve said here is relevant to you, even if it’s unpleasant to think about, it’s very important to be consciously aware of it so that you can accept that your current reality is one you’ve chosen, consciously or unconsciously… and that you can choose differently.
I’m one year younger than you, also virgin guy who would maybe like to have a partner, but through introspection and years of learning shit on the internet, I’m aware of the likely reasons I haven’t gotten one yet - I just don’t meet people, and when I do, even when we get along, I tend to fall out of touch immediately. I believe I likely have undiagnosed and unmedicated ADHD along with some steep but situational social anxiety, both of which I know have and will continue to keep me from forming and maintaining many social connections that I otherwise could have, which I could be leveraging to find people to date.
So, I recognize what my stumbling blocks are, and that if I decide I really do want to find love and get laid, I have to deal with those stumbling blocks. For me, that will involve speaking to a head doctor and learning more precisely how my brain works and what strategies I can use to overcome those blocks. It’s not about fixing me, it’s about being able to be more me. But until I do that, I accept that my current status of “virgin, but maybe wants to change that” is there because I have, in some way, chosen up to this point not to change it.
If you figure out what your stumbling blocks are, or even if you haven’t, tell a close and trustworthy friend or family member about where you’re at, where you want to be, and how you feel about it. They might have options, or be able to help you take whatever steps you need to be where you want to be. If you feel like you just can’t make yourself do the thing, get someone else to give you a kick in the ass.
That’s wonderful, I’m so glad you enjoyed yourself! And I’m glad I was able to help :)
Remember that a dance party is a party - most people are there to have fun. I think the main thing to avoid, if you can manage it, is being so caught up inside your own head that you aren’t looking at the people around you. Keep your back straight, your head high, your eyes off the floor. Basically, avoid the posture of a shrinking violet and you’ll feel less like one. Even if you don’t feel confident, maintaining a pose that looks confident will keep some of your fear away, and it will passively invite others to interact with you, which boosts your confidence a little more with each person you talk to.
Even if you spend the entire party standing around and watching other people dance, as long as you are actually watching the event, and mentally present for what’s going on, you will gain something from the experience. Just remember that standing around and not talking to anyone is as much a choice as going up to someone and asking for a dance. Neither choice is wrong, but you have to live with what happens - or doesn’t - based on what you choose.
All that said, you can do this! We believe in you!
Try KittyToy (itch.io).