

It did say so directly, something that I couldn’t find in a Google search because I was asking the wrong question, and getting forum posts with loosely related technical questions about LTO.
That’s not to say that it doesn’t just as often give weird answers, but sometimes those can guide me to the right question too.
I started working to get hormones about 2 days after the US election, and have been on hrt (E, Spiro) for a couple months. It’s a little disorienting, the juxtaposition of the dread and fear against the intense joy and euphoria I have been feeling. I feel like I am doing better than I ever have in my life, it feels like before I lived in this emotional grey, an autopilot, and now my life is begining at 30. At the same time I feel that fascism is rapidly intensifying. I fear for my loved ones who are immigrants, for the uncountable people being disappeared, and despite living in a “safe” state know I am not very far behind in terms of risk over the next few years. I have on some level preparing myself to run, but I also hate the idea of it on so many levels. I in some ways feel like coward to consider running when many close to me cannot or will not.
It’s a confusing time. But also it feels like I have been given a life again, I am like Frankenstein awakening to the world from the cold grip of death, and that joy is so intense and I am so thankful for it.
I will die before I detransition, and I don’t intend to die easily.