That reminds me, I once heard an irritated dad at a kids playground yell “cheese and rice”!

I love it. I’ve been enjoying “MotherFather” as a soft landing out of habitually cursing when frustrated.

Moira Fogarty and Ruth Golding

Do you ever use librivox? There are a few specific readers I found there that are great for me to fall asleep to.

Utilizing the library is a good idea, I should really do they more. I know in the US they need our support too.

Lately I have been trying to notice my doom scrolling actually using it as a cue to convert that energy into reading something I’m interested in.

I’m trying to quit scrolling like I quit smoking decades ago: with intentional anger for being controlled and then redirection.

I have, on a few occasions, rebooted my reading habit from traveling by airplane.

I have found that if I do everything I can to feel as good as possible before a flight, and bring a book in my carry on, it’s one of the rare situations that there is nothing pulling me away from reading. I went somewhere for work last month and I finished 2 books on that trip. That made me really happy and motivated to keep it alive.

Yeah, I think asymmetric warfare is they key word I was grasping for.

I guess I wonder what other games, besides geopolitical competitions (or conflicts specifically) represent similar asymmetry

This is probably true of a lot of covert operations. Thanks for the history, I did not know that!

But those are just different debuffs!

I didn’t downvote you, I think you offered a thoughtful critique of the question.

Even if parties have wildly different objectives or winning conditions, if they didn’t have to compete for the same resources then they could cooperate or at least ignore each other. That wouldn’t be true if it were a race to finish first, but in that case they’ve started competing for the resource of time.

Maybe some folks thought it was a cop out answer, since I was seeking new perspectives rather than a reason to not ask for them? But, I think your response can help guide responses to even more extreme examples than some potentially topical ones by taking you up on your challenge.

Oh thanks for the tip! I’m going to try out the baldurs gate one

https://youtu.be/Skawrfm0AIM?si=0IUWba-Vvkc2jheG

Seriously though this piqued a lot of interest for me. Thank you for this compact packet of fascinating info!

I’m glad to hear you’re turning that page, and I hope he chooses to as well. Congrats, and eventually congrats to him.

First I want to apologize somehow I didn’t register “ex”, and parts of my comment therefore made no sense.

Do you feel physically unsafe to confront him? If not, I think you’re within your right to flat out say “you don’t live here anymore and you need to pack now and then leave”.

He’s your ex. Nobody owes (or is owed) any interpersonal relationship from anyone else, nor any favors or support.

You already know all this though.

If you do feel threatened by him, I am always skeptical about involving police, but you have the best angle for that judgement call, maybe you should get on it. I hope there’s space for you to give him a chance not to need that though. Involving the police only due to being timid I think would be an irresponsible play.

Do you have a trusting relationship with any mutual friends that can help you mediate and navigate this?

No matter what you do, it’s going to have to happen, I don’t see any sense in waiting. You need to be able to take care of yourself and move your life forward. There are only so many years you’re alive… Don’t give him another 2.

Nice. I tore out my weird rotten cabinets last spring…my plan is to try my hand at building custom cabinets here. I know it will probably cost me more in time and frustration and possibly even materials and tools than ordering some, but it’s something I want to try.

I do need to get better at meeting people in my locality.

Your dad loves you and wants you to do well… Honor that by letting him help you out.

Regarding your nephew, it sounds highly likely that your house is not his final stop in life. If you don’t have the capacity to take him in there’s no sense in letting his one homelessness become two homelessnesses. You can support him in other ways, maybe as a role model and a mentor, but if he needs a parent you might not be it. Parents grow into that role alongside their infants.

Do you have any interest in doing something other than Uber, or doing Uber just on the side?

Oh…

I answered you from my inbox rather than the thread, so I didn’t notice you weren’t the same person I was responding to. I figured Eliza was a character in their novel 🤦.

I guess now I wish I didn’t sound like a chat bot.

Did you do it?