NirodhaAvidya

In the universe I’m originally from she’s clad in shiny vinyl (yes, please) and her name was Beckinsdale.

I just wish I had the self-awareness and self-control in these moments to choose being authentic. But, alas, I am not in charge. I’m Maggie Simpson pretending she’s steering the car while Marge is actually in control. Honk honk

Chortle

What did you used to find stimulating?

Zenni. I’ve got dozens of glasses from them. Every year if I’ve got money leftover in my health flex spending account I buy glasses. Fashion tint, sunglasses, just for fun, etc. It’s never a waste.

Subtle

Kagi if you are willing to pay for the service. I think that’s reasonable but your needs may vary.

That consciousness arises from matter as some emergent phenomenon. Integrated information theory, micro-tubules, or whatever: no.

I believe consciousness is fundamental.

• No offense taken

• These are salient points

• I edited my post

• I hope it’s easier to digest now

• Thank you for the constructive criticism

“You are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago” - Alan Watts

This one is a bit hard-won for me. You see I used to be an asshole. It was my brand. I thought “it’s just in my nature”.

Fortunately, I was also a student of religion (mostly because I was a militant atheist. Know your enemy and all that). Studying Buddhism, I began to observe the nature of self. I found enough distance from it to see its transient nature.

I realized being an asshole was a choice and I could just as easily choose otherwise. Soon I began to discover this was true of most character traits.

I’m not saying you don’t have consistent patterns of behavior. I’ll hopefully always be curious and analytical. But for the most part, the way you conduct yourself and where you focus your attention is a choice.

So, if you’re not happy with who you are maybe don’t be so attached to the idea of 'who you are". And if that seems hard, observe what you pay your attention to and try to find the distance between observation and behavior. In that gap lies the choice you make, consciously or not, to be “you”.