I’m not advocating for any of these, but my journey towards feeling secure in a male adult identity was probably:
Good set of male friends in high-school that I still keep in touch with (at 48). That was pure luck, I didn’t get to choose them ending up in my class.
Joined the army at 18. Hard work but definitely forced me into a number of situations I wouldn’t otherwise have had to deal with and raised my personal confidence that the unknown was generally something that could be handled.
Did the Landmark Forum early twenties. I do not recommend this to anyone but it did wonders for me.
Through doing a bunch of shitty jobs learnt to apply for good jobs.
Raised with high expectations. Parents weren’t jerks or unreasonable but they expected me to apply myself without ever nagging at me. Good parents is a huge hidden privilege.
Met my wife at the right time and through sheer luck she turned out to be perfect.
In short: Mostly luck, privilege and a bit of hard work. And when I say privilege I do not mean money. That we had not very much of.
I’m not advocating for any of these, but my journey towards feeling secure in a male adult identity was probably:
In short: Mostly luck, privilege and a bit of hard work. And when I say privilege I do not mean money. That we had not very much of.