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the sole reason I stay in this cold dreary backwater of a country.
You do know you can get crumpets in any supermarket in sunny Queensland, yeah? You can even get Marmite (but why would you when Vegemite is superior).
Australian Marmite is from New Zealand and is not quite the same as British.
Yes, yes, there there, now…
*smothers face with a pillow whilst making shushing noises*Vegemite doesn’t spread properly and tastes like charcoal.
Change my mind.
Vegemite is superior to marmite, but crumpets are best with butter & honey/golden syrup.