This question popped up in my mind. Also, my boyfriend’s last relationship was with a girl who did this.
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We’ve been married 12 years now. She still doesn’t have a clue.
I wouldn’t say “pretended.” More like tried to convince myself I could because I knew logically they would be good for me… but when the spark isn’t there, the spark isn’t there. So when the first thing you want to do after sex with them is go home and take a shower you know the spark isn’t there.
Not pretended, but when I was dating, I’d say yes to a first date with anyone who seemed vaguely compatible. I’d try to make some chemistry happen. It didn’t.
It’s 50/50 ya know. It either works or not. I’ve experienced both kind of relationship and the most important stuff is to working out your issues together. Basically, just because there’s 10-20% of shit that needs to be worked on that doesn’t mean that you’ll throw that 80-90% away.
Have you ever succeeded in the chemistry part?
Nope. I thought maybe I could find chemistry with people if I got to know them better, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. At least for me.
Wow are you me??? Do you identify as asexual? How have you navigated things this way? It’s for me…humans are social animals, right? So I have a very deep need for connection and intimacy…just not of the sexual or romantic kind. So it’s a struggle to be in such a fringe group of seemingly contrasting needs that aren’t compatible with 99% of the world.
Yes, because for some reason I tend to be mostly attracted to lesbians. Their dress sense and personality is better than straight women IMO; I get on really well with lesbians, often better than with my male friends overall.
So yeah… pretty much all the women who fancy me, I don’t fancy much back, but I feel I ought to reciprocate physically just so I can have a physical relationship from time to time.
