Formally: Jeb!
Informally: Jebland
Dialectical variant of English: Jeblish
Collective name for the people of Jebland: JebaneseI’m kidding of course. We all know the process to rename the U.S. would be taken over by the wealthy and we’d wind up named HCH (Human Capital Holdings), LLC, a shell corporation/nation that is jointly owned by Blackrock, Vanguard, and State Street.
Please clap.
Jeb means “fuck” in some languages.
Even better
The United States of Whatever
I’m pretty sure that video just got posted recently in the new YouTubeClassics community.
Given the religious fervor throughout its history, how about naming it after an ancient biblical region?
Transjordan?
Wait. Shit, that won’t work, even Jordan’s gone woke. Maybe something else in the region?
OH! How about Gilead!?
Sodom. From the story of Sodom & Gommorah, but I would choose the name based on a passage from Ezekiel.
“This was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy.”
I grew up being taught that America was literally the “Whore of Babylon” from the Book of Revelation.
And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH. - Revelation 17:5
It was specifically said to be a prophecy about the United States and once you understood that, the rest of the story just clicked into place! I want to vomit just thinking back to that bullshit.
Yep, in classical biblical literature it’s understood that the “sin of Sodom” was lack of social justice.
It’s the Christian interpretation that made it primarily a sex thing.
Except Transjordan isn’t biblical. It’s the region of Palestine that became The Kingdom of Jordan. As opposed to Cisjordan, which is the region that became Israel and the present Palestine.
But I don’t think we’re allowed to say cis anymore. /s
Except Transjordan isn’t biblical
I know, but when I Googled to confirm the name of the country in Handmaid’s Tale, I noticed the real Gilead was in Transjordan, saw a joke opportunity sitting there, and that was the smoothest I could work it in. I’m open to workshopping it.
No, the joke was funny. I’m just a grump!
Thank you, but I’m the grump. But I didn’t intend it as such. 1.) I was in rare form when posting last night and 2.) I still feel the need to point out that “I can go chapter and verse, muthafucka” on Bible stuff, as if it’s something to be proud of. Presumably then I wasn’t indoctrinated and ruined for nothing! I know stuff as a result, see!? I’ve memorized fiction and still occasionally confuse it with history, so fun!
Turtle Island
Hey now, I’m feeling attacked!
To the top with you
Just revert to using the old name: Vinland.
South Canada
“Yucatán”
Which means “the end of your finger” because the Spanish asked some folks what they were pointing at and they didn’t understand the question
The birth place of Jesus
That’s so Utah.
Donald Trump’s Best, Biggest Country in the World, the Biggest, Juiciest Country there is, you know it, folks, No Illegals Allowed, No Fentanyl, All the Guns! And Covfefe!
united states of fuck you, i got mine.
Clown Country
Annual bidding by major corporations for the opportunity to rename the country each year, stadium style.
Let’s go United States of Waste Management
Metastasized States of Meta
Fascistan
Ignorancia
Corpoland
Gun-ited Steaks
RetroPolice, like metropolis but it’s a reactionary police state
