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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: September 26th, 2023

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  • I’ve been remote since 2014. Plenty of friends made. Wouldn’t date at work as a general rule, it creates unnecessary risk IMO.

    Certainly wouldn’t eg move in with someone I worked with, etc.

    Then again, being poly and happily married, risk calculus is part of my mental process before attempting to date a particular person. If it goes south, will they show up naked and screaming on my front lawn in the middle of the night?

    Since an angry ex doesn’t have the option of along me look bad to my wife (who also dates), any serious crazy could escalate quickly and creatively. I want nothing to do with that.








    1. Suffer through working life
    2. Retire, downsize, go see the world without having to convince a gf/partner

    Nothing wrong with disliking dating, it’s a screwy social ritual intended to use a short series of interactions to determine if this is a person you could trust and genuinely like enough to share everything - including tough mornings - and compromise with for the next fifty years.

    Works for some folks. Doesn’t work for others. I’m happily married, took a couple false starts and youthful indiscretions to get here - as well as the magic of the internet and some long discussions about relationships/commitment/poly/nonstandard stuff.

    Works for us, maybe not for most.











  • I’ve never heard them be interchangeable. Grew up in the NE US, PA, NY, FL, and MA.

    I’ve spent most of the last twenty years in the Midwest, and can’t think of a single example.

    The outlier would be very, very careful instructions - likely written - organized in an if/then fashion which is a totally different use case:

    • Where the coffee machine is empty and the old filter abd grounds have been removed…
    • Where the coffee machine is empty but the used filter and grounds are still present… (add step to deal with that case)
    • Where the moron before you forgot to turn off the burner after emptying the carafe…

    “Since” wouldn’t fit, at least without changing the instructions after the ellipsis.

    And of course the classic example: “since you are up, get me a beer…” also doesn’t really work. (Apologies to some long irrelevant redneck comedian for ripping that off to make a point).

    I’m trying in my head to make it fit in both casual and formal conversation, and it just won’t as far as I can tell.

    Would love a counterfactual where both work!