For anyone who’s thinking UK, I’d advise not - we’re about 4-5 years behind you in terms of imminent fascism and whilst there’s still technically a chance to avert it, its very unlikely - especially since Starmer is being even more awful than the Tories.

Re-reading Shirley Jackson’s “The Haunting of Hill House” because its the best haunted house novel ever written.

7-zip is now cross platform. There used to be a linux implementation called p7-zip but its not necessary any more.

As everyone else has said: kidney issue. If its an infection (you should definitely get this checked out), you’re going to need antibiotics. Drink a lot of water - like, a lot - and introduce cranberry juice to your drinking habits (won’t fix the infection but there’s some evidence its preventative).

If its a stone then get ready for the worst pain in the world but also drink a lot of water to help break it up/aid its passage through.

TL;DR - get a GP appointment and start drinking a fuck ton of water.

The only rules that matter are the ones you and your date agree on and largely revolve around where it is you decide to meet. There’s nothing wrong with either of you having a drink if you’re somewhere that serves alcohol. There’s a lot wrong if either of you go on a bender. There’s also nothing wrong with drinking a soft drink too. Or doing an activity based date rather than a food/drink oriented one.

Just communicate openly with each other before the date with an eye towards your dates feelings/perception of safety.

For you personally to use that word to describe or allude to yourself and only yourself seems like something thats totally your call.

I do have to say though that encouraging someone else to use a word that is (or was once) a slur - especially if they are not gay themselves and therefore cannot possibly be reclaiming it - feels like a regressive and fairly crappy thing to do (assuming that they are straight).

It’s a great video but it overemphasis the ubiquitousness of interoperability quite a lot. But its still good to see a well designed campaign video on the subject.

Honestly, I am not trying to bait you or troll you or anything else when I say this but if you equate a simple request for context with toxicity you’re clearly not approaching this realistically or rationally.

You might well be right and you’ve been treated very poorly but literally no one on this thread apart from you can ever know that and no one is just going to take someone’s word for it.

But you expect everyone to immediately take you at your word without providing any context whatsoever.

Blast it.

“that option because just goes to desalines”

Who is the developer of the software. How they choose to develop Lemmy is up to them - you do have a choice though. Support them or don’t. What no one who donates has a choice over is how the developers choose to use the development funds they receive.

Not the point. The issue OP has is with the instance .ml - if they are donating to the developers then they’re contributing towards development costs which affect both .ml and every other instance. If that’s too much of a hurdle for them, maybe they could switch to donating to their instance admin.

If they had developed a centralised bit of software such as Twitter or Reddit you’d have a point. In that case you can’t support one without the other.

On a decentralised bit of software you can support the developers and spend your time on an instance they have no control over. So supporting the developers for development is not the same as supporting any particular instance - thats why a lot of instances accept donations too.

Gonna be that guy and mention an alternative - Schildi Chat available for web, desktop and Android. Its based on the Element apps but with some extras. For example if you use the ‘Next’ variant of the Android app, Spaces work as intended.

You’re a bigot who is on a platform that doesn’t tolerate bigotry. Off you fuck.

Maybe uncharitably, my first thought when reading a post like this is “what shitty thing do you want to say?”.

But I don’t know you so maybe I am being uncharitable.

But you have to realise the fediverse in general is not owned by capitalist orgs with high priced legal teams. Its mostly small teams of private individuals. If someone posts something illegal, including defamatory, in their legal jurisdiction (which is probably not the USA) then they might be on the hook for it too.

Even if you run your own instance if you’re enough of a dick it’ll get defederated or you’ll be banned from multiple instances/communities.

Learn to play nice in other peoples yard. Its hard sometimes but just walking away and blocking is the best option. Sometimes I need to make more effort to do that too.

“I don’t really see why people continue to blame the lockdown for why it has impacted socializing”

I’m not blaming just the lockdown but it certainly played a part. For a lot of people who are now legal adults it happened at a formative stage of their social development.

“I wouldn’t just put the magnifying glass on 4chan when Reddit and Kiwi Farms are just as bad if not worse.”

True.

And you’re not wrong either - they’re still shit excuses for treating people like sexual commodities and thinking its OK to beat/rape/kill them if they don’t give you sex. At some level personal responsibility kicks in.

We live in online world that normalises abusing women gamers on Twitch, DM-ing women in order to hit on them and/or attack them on Insta or whatever, that considers sites like 4chan legitimate humour and where a web search for something like a gym membership can bombard you with scum like Tate.

Add to that the hit that people’s socialisation skills took during lockdown, governments around the Westernised world normalising hate and violence as legitimate ways to get what you want and then dangle in front of them the fictional lives influencers flaunt on Instagram, TikTok etc and tell them they too could have that life if they do this that and the other oh and by the way, its totally fine to abuse women to prove your masculinity because you, as a man, are owed sex by women.

All these reasons like ‘men are lonely’, ‘gender roles are different’ - yeah they play a part but lets not pretend this shit hasn’t been coming for a long time and men being sad they have less role models is no excuse for the rationalisation of violent hate that’s on display.

Yep it is.