HOAs say “ew no that’s for the poors” and good luck finding a house that’s not in an HOA within a reasonable commute to your job

In my neighborhood, he’d be technically following the rules, but I’d still be annoyed and mutter about morning people thinking they’re better than everyone else.

Can you experiment with using nonverbal communication to signal that you’re ready to go? Things like:

• If standing, shift your feet so they’re pointing away from the person (if ineffective, can escalate by rotating the whole leg away, which you can then escalate by shifting more weight to the turned-away leg)
• If sitting, put your hands to your knees/lower thighs (think an extremely subtle version of the Midwest USA joke where you slap your knees and say “welp!”)
• If sitting at your desk, gradually begin rotating back to your work (gently swivel seat back so your legs are under the table, can escalate by rotating your torso back to your work while keeping only your head turned, and if they’re still super clueless you can return your hands to your keyboard/work as well)

Not on purpose. I’ve found that making every effort to pass as normal is far more advantageous. If I have to choose between being treated like a child because I’m different vs. being disliked because people can tell I’m hiding something but not what that something is… well, I’ll take option B.

Yes, when collaborating with someone who was only familiar with light mode and felt disoriented by the different appearance. I wanted to scream and hiss like a vampire.

During morning rush hour (a near-standstill occasionally broken by brief periods of 10mph movement), I once saw a woman eating a bowl of soup/oatmeal/whatever while steering with her elbows.

It seemed to be a regional norm to eat breakfast in the car because a 20 mile commute generally took 1.5-3 hours and often moved slower than a walking pace, but that was the only time I’d ever seen someone eating food that required a dish and utensil.

I’m confused. When I lived in apartments, I never built them myself. Can you explain how one builds one’s apartment?

Bus stops on the main road(s), placed so everyone has a stop within a 15-20 minute walk.

Sort of agree with others suggesting getting rid of the neighborhoods in the first place, but sharing walls is hell. When the only way to speak confidentially in your own home is to whisper, it’s impossible to wfh or have a telehealth appointment (or, worse, a teletherapy appointment).

I’ve had good and bad experiences with mostly-male and mostly-female groups. I think it has less to do with the actual gender of the group, and more to do with: (a) the manner and extent to which group members are invested in performing their gender, (b1) whether the group embraces deviation from that performance, or (b2) whether one’s own performance of gender is similar enough to the group’s.

I’ve often described myself as “not very good at being a woman.” My weirdness and difficulty with hidden meanings has gotten me shunned by fellow women and usually bullied out of all-female groups, particularly when I was young. But as I discovered a few years ago after adopting a more active lifestyle, I get along fantastically with most women who play sports.

All-male groups were usually not much better. I still had to keep LARPing a persona, it’s just that the “cool girl” persona came easier to me. The main advantage was that mostly-male groups didn’t tend to say one thing while meaning the opposite. (For example, “stay as long as you like” actually means “you should probably go home now” and that is absolutely nonsensical to me.) But all-male groups never accepted me either, so the best case scenario meant being tolerated instead of shunned.

When it comes to work environments, it’s only been women who played the game of psychologically tormenting me until I have a breakdown and quit (although one of those was a woman boss in a mostly-male small office). So mostly-male groups have been somewhat better because I usually don’t have to waste as much brainspace on LARPing the correct persona. I still tended to be treated more as a tagalong or novelty, though, and gender isn’t a guarantee of future behavior (for example, one of my current coworkers is a man who politicks like a woman).

Only once they start to wear out under the big toe, otherwise I can’t tell the difference.

Same. I use granulated salt from a jar near the stove while cooking, and there’s a grinder on the table for when I forget.

I prefer old-school trance, mostly, but anything high-energy and instrumental works. I’ve been known to use the Mario Kart soundtrack now and then. The important part is that either there are no lyrics, or the lyrics are in a language I’ve never attempted to learn.

I’m mostly remote now, but on my in-office day it’s a 25mi/40km trip. (We bought the house years before I got this job, I don’t have the energy to keep a house showing-ready while working full time, and the houses near work aren’t in great shape.)

The morning commute takes about 40 minutes by car, the evening commute is more like 50-60 minutes. There’s technically bus service available, if I wanted to take 2+ hours each way, but I prefer having time to eat real food and do some exercise and mabye a hobby.

DIY wet wipes (reaching over to the sink and dampening some tp while at home, or dampening a paper towel before entering the toilet stall in public)

As others said, it depends on situation and local culture. I (American woman) expect to shake hands when meeting someone professionally.

Don’t do that weird thing where you gently pinch her fingertips though. Shake hands normally, like you would with a man. (Unless you like to rearrange each others’ bones when shaking hands with men, in which case ease up a little.)

Part of me is outside, part is inside, and part is stuck in the wall.

Personally I’ve found that “how do I stop myself from doing a Kirby impression on this junk food?” is the wrong question.

Consider asking instead, “what am I trying to get by devouring it all?” Followed by, “is there a more helpful way to meet that need?”

Me, I like to eat for sensory enjoyment/stimulation. So I use the other senses instead, with things like music or a melting wax tart or a reusable bubble wrap toy.

I always have a bowl of full-fat Greek yogurt with a spoonful of almond butter, a sprinkle of cinnamon, some collagen powder, and a little bit of maple syrup. Easy to scarf down in a hurry and keeps me satisfied for a few hours.

I would willingly get into a windowless white van if you told me there was aged Gouda inside.

Elements being so big they take up most of the screen. It makes shopping much more difficult, because you have to scroll to see more and then forget what you just saw a moment ago.

Also lazy loading. Scroll and scroll and scroll, have to stop to do something else, come back and the page has reloaded and you have to start all over.

I didn’t fail, and I never heard the “everyone fails once” thing. But also I learned from a private driving school, where the test was given by my regular instructor and had exactly the same vibe as all our regular practice sessions did.

Totally understandable. When I lived in a small place, I only had room for one box, so I got the biggest thing that would fit and scooped as often as possible.

That reminds me, some cats are picky about litter too, just like some humans will only wipe their ass with certain brands of toilet paper. So it’s good to find a brand they like and stick with it, but I know how hard it is to experiment when there’s only room for one box.

When cats shit outside the box, they’re trying to communicate something. Unfortunately they don’t speak English and sometimes resort to speaking Catshittese.

Are there enough boxes? You should have n+1 litter boxes, where n is the number of cats in the home. Also they should be scooped two or three times a day (before work, after work, and bedtime is a good routine). The litter should be about 3”/8cm deep: they need enough to bury their piss and shit, but too deep feels unsteady beneath their feet.

Is she a really big cat? She might want a bigger box. I once had a big fuckoff tabby who needed jumbo boxes with extra-high sides.

Maybe she’s having digestive pains. Does her shit look normal? If not, put the misplaced turd in a zipper baggy and have your vet check it out.

It could also be an emotional issue, like loneliness or anxiety or dominance, but make sure the litter boxes and digestive health are all in order before deciding that’s what’s up.

Light cardio exercise like a going for a brisk walk, pacing at home, tidying up, etc. It doesn’t have to be enough to sweat, just enough to get the blood pumping faster.