They’re a fucking weirdo like me and so don’t mind being goofy a good bit of the time.
mine is similar, they laugh at my jokes and can also continue them
If a person carries their trash with them until they stumble upon a trash bin they instantly have a plus in my book.
That’s such a low bar, i feel sorry for your past
You might be surprised
It is, but it’s pretty alarming how many people I see not doing this :/
I wouldn’t consider them people if they don’t have the cognitive ability to hold onto their trash to throw into a trash can.
I’m pretty sure you can train a crow to do better
I mean I agree with you, but yet, I still see humans do it all the time
next step is holocaust
Informs you about stuff proactively and you don’t have to pull everything out of them yourself
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Somewhat related… I work at a garden center and my manager is a professor of horticulture. When I transferred to her department, I thought I would be learning so much, but this woman has no passion for teaching and is cynical about everything. She sucks the life and fun out of work. Luckily I enjoy working with my other coworkers, and everybody likes me better than they do her.
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Bit of an update… 3 out of 4 of us employed under her are planning to quit after the new year. We’re just finishing the holiday season because it’s a busy time and don’t want to bail when it’s all hands on deck right now.
The 4th person is only part-time and we haven’t told him yet about our plans, so he may join us once he finds out.
All of us are quitting because of the manager.
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I do this when I play MTG or board games with people. I’m not like professional MTG good or anything but it is the kind of complex system I tend to do really well in. I want to have fun too though so a lot of times I end up trying to control the board in a way to make my opponent think about specific challenges to overcome to defeat me. Gives me something to do that isn’t obliterating them and they get to have an engaging game out of it too
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I’d say it depends who I’m against but overall yeah. There’s always something to be learning in that game and if someone completely new to the game finds a novel way around a challenge than I’ll tuck that away in my toolbelt as well. I also have to know some really obscure parts of how things work together to orchestrate the kind of board state I’m talking about so lots of research goes into it.
I actually do this mostly as a way to learn about new people; see how they approach problem solving and how they socially interact with me (MTG is a space I’m comfortable in so I end up talking way more than usual during play); but I have a couple close friends we mostly try and out shitpost each other with ridiculous gameplay. And then sometimes, on a rare occasion if someone is rude to me, I can take off the training wheels and use my finely tuned bullshittery to make them pick up their ball and go home lol
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This. Someone who is willing to come down to my ignorant level in a subject and reward me for my tiny effort and interest in it, is an immediate win in my book. Though it is a hard line to cross without going into smirky/mansplaining territory.
For example, Veritasium videos are always fantastic, but I can’t get over how the man smirks when he explains concepts, despite the fact that it’s his natural smile.
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I think you have to want to share your enthusiasm about something
This, the enthusiasm sells the authenticity of it, and people are more willing to listen.
I have a friend who teaches high school history and has traveled a lot. She’s great at this! I feel like i can talk to her about almost anything and she never makes me feel stupid.
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Their fingernails. It sounds weird, but you can tell a lot about a person by how maintained their nails are. If they have long gross unkept nails, it says a lot. Versus trimmed and clean nails.
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I always do dinner and a movie for Date 1. At dinner, how do they treat the staff? Are they kind, do they thank the worker for their help? Do they tip well? Do they take forever to pick an item off the menu? When I offer to pay, do they initially counter offer for them to pay or us split at least?
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I’d just ask them their thoughts on trans folks wanting to participate in the Olympics with their same gender. The way they react to a hardball question pretty quickly outs any red flags.
That’s interesting. I was a long time nail biter, and I only recently managed to stop, I literally never before had cut my nails. Even when I was a baby, my mom bit my nails, she was like 15 when I was born and didn’t know how to adult. Do you have any tips for taking care of nails? It’s all new to me. So far I’ve found that filing them is worth doing, and my hands get way dirtier now that I have a place for dirt to hide under.
Proud of you for breaking the habit! Not sure if you’re masc or fem, but I’m masc and all I do is clip them before they get too long which helps prevent the buildup of dirt. Nail clippers also usually have a little scraper attachment that works great for getting dirt out when you notice it. I’ve never felt the need to file my nails, but you may prefer the extra smoothness!
Ooh that makes sense. I always kinda wondered what that little knife thing in the clippers was for haha. Thanks!!!
Yeah and if the scraper is textured on a side that’s for filing. Be careful with cheap files though they can have sharp edges. I recently learned the joys of cutting right into the tip of my finger this way
Your mom did what?
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what is your answer on 3?
I will try. This comes up frequently these days with my Trumper friend, so this could be valuable to discuss here.
I think it would be fine for them to compete provided we can ensure a level playing field. I don’t know what that would entail, but studies should be done to get it figured out. Is it a blood draw for testosterone levels (maybe not… sometimes that’s naturally high for either cis gender)? Maybe estrogen? Maybe it’s number of years post transition, though I see difficulty defining the start.
Definitely a tough issue since if we get it wrong and be too accepting or not accepting enough, many athletes will suffer. I would love to hear some more ideas and thoughts on this. I’m tired of getting shot down trying to talk to this guy.
I saw one suggestion which was to so away with male and female competitions, and instead have “open” and “restricted” comps. Open would be available to anyone, male or female, while you could set up as many restricted comps as you needed for the particular sport or activity with whatever rules make sense. So the 100m sprint might have Open, Restricted - Testosterone, and Restricted - Height - with whatever T level or height in centimetres decided by the relevant authority. Whereas something like weightlifting might have Restricted - Weight as it’s own class. The idea being any gender can compete provided provided meet the restrictions in place to make an interesting/fair competition within that bracket.
Suddenly this thread is playing with fire lol
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People who treat others who cannot benefit them well. For example, wait staff.
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All the productive shit I like to do requires a yard or workspace. Can’t really do much until I can afford a house. In the mean time I can at least pretend to do it in video games.
When they pay back what they owe without being reminded.
Having red and yellow or red and black flags on their clothing/accessories
Why is being Belgian a green flag?
No, that’s red, yellow AND black
To avoid any further confusion, red should be the base color, the yellow a cute symbol and black a triangle connecting three of the corners
Okay, yep, I would consider someone being an communist or anarchist to be a green flag
Yeah, I tried to make a funny bit about red flags but avoiding sectarianism muddled it
its more of a long term green flag but whenever someone listens to me, like brings up something i mentioned ages ago or whatever, its just a nice little thing i appreciate a lot
they read books
As a fellow reader, how do you identify others in the wild? I feel like my method sucks…
They’re reading a book
My method is very simple, just looking for people who sit and read in trains, cafés, etc., most people who do that tend to be people who like to read books.
Plus they love it when you pull off their headphones to ask what they’re reading.
I just talk about books I’ve read when relevant, or during the “whatve you been up to?” small talk.
^ this
Oh man. I wish i could read a book!
What’s keeping you?
I dunno…distractions, too much commitment, feels indulgent,… ? Just got a book for my birthday and read the first 100 pages aloud in the car because my husband and son wanted to hear it. Now it’s been on my coffee table for two weeks and I’m struggling to pick it back up.
It’s not really indulgent to take some time for yourself. Maybe your also missing the right book to get you interested. What kind of story are you interested in?
When i was younger (before kids) i read a lot - mostly Stephen King and classics and it’s still what i really like. Kids are grown, but i have a hard time saying, “I’m going to sit here for an hour and read.” There’s always something to do…bills, husband, animals, house, yard, etc. and when i veg I mostly turn to mindlessly browsing my phone because it’s 2 minute chunks that you can put down anytime. After 15 years of working at the same job i just found out that my lunch break is 60 minutes instead of 30 - maybe I’ll bring a book and try to use that time to read.
Thank you for the motivation
valid lol, sometimes gotta take a break for a while
The trick is to read something that’s fictional and less dry. Fantasy would be an excellent choice. Sci Fi if you still enjoy things slightly more grounded in reality.
They are happy to see you!
They handle stress and disappointment well.
They don’t externalize their frustrations, and take responsibility for solving their own problems. They act like a functioning adult.
They have interests and hobbies that they are happy to do alone, or share.
Unfair - but they don’t have intense money, drug, social pressure in their life, a stable situation is the good grounds for relationships
bonus: If their parents are attractive, then they could be a good partner who ages gracefully with you
That bonus really looked like it was going somewhere else for a second there.
bonus: if their parents are attractive, you have a potential thruple opportunity to fall back on if the relationship sours.
“Then you might have a plan B if the relationship doesn’t work out as expected”
They’re self aware. Understand the difference between subjectivity and objectivity. When they encounter someone different, they don’t judge, see it as a learning opportunity. Put thought into their words. If you ask them a question, you can see them carefully thinking about it.
Everyone judges, it’s how you act upon that judgement that is the mark of your character. Anyone that says “I don’t judge” is either full of shit or means that they are self aware of their biases, conscious and subconscious and don’t act upon their judgements.
Judging people is a natural part of being human and impossible to not do.
And to add to that, all the characteristics listed their green flags - characteristics used to judge people.
I would just append that judging people is a good thing, often blanket misinterpreted as a bad thing. You should make an initial judgement upon meeting someone (it doesn’t really matter, your subconscious will anyway). The important part is being willing to update that judgement based on learning more.
I’ve spoken about this with my girlfriend. She mentioned that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover and I get what she was trying to say but everyone judges and to a certain extent everyone should judge. It’s how you act upon that initial judgment and your willingness to append it that shows your character.
I feel like all of those are what people would see as signs of intelligence but I’m pretty dumb and I do all of those as well.
There are many kinds of intelligence. Social, emotional, etc. I’m betting you’re really good at some things I’m horrible at.
No particular order:
- Being a furry/furry sympathetic.
- A science major of any kind. IMO the S needs more love in STEM.
- Ever overhear them say “walkable” in a positive light.
- Hobbies besides media consumption
- Not “too cool” to learn something. Likes learning for fun.
- Not to concerned with looking cool or badass, either. Look at CHUDs, I made a joke the other day that I can sense a decent bit of residual 90’s 'tude in modern CHUDDery, and I think I’m onto something.
Likes learning for fun.
where do I find other people like this? where am I supposed to go?
To nerd forum, i guess, like LessWrong.
seems like a place where there’d be very few women. lol
don’t go there
Nah that site’s full of subtly (and sometimes overtly) unnerving techbros
One of my least favorite things about my ex is that she hated learning. Like why? The world has cool things, why would you not like learning about ANYTHING? You don’t realize how much it sucks to date someone that is unwilling to learn new things for fun until you deal with it.
Makerspaces? Maybe just hang around at bars near your local conference/convention center?
Makerspaces? Maybe just hang around at bars near your local conference/convention center?
I’ll feel weird and out of place. But I guess I have nothing better to do. lol
and I gotta hope no gross chuds pick on me
They take the time to clean up all the blood!
