Not a downside at all in my opinion. There’s a framework and consequences for infractions. (Not really, but in theory)

I love innuendo as humour. I learned not to use it for everyone, everywhere, all the time precisely because I would have been sacked. I’m naturally quite flirty as a person, which I also learned to temper by not getting sacked. I was forced to learn how to ask about that thing you talked about last week. Which forced me to pay attention to what you say this week, so I can ask next week.

So to the dance group: I had already learned what is/n’t appropriate for work, which is close enough for acquaintances. Conversation happens, a bit of personality creeps (intended) out, they back away (I’ve learned to recognise when someone shuts down a conversation at work) I apologise, life goes on me a little the wiser. Or, a bit of personality creeps out, my partner lowers the tone too, life is fun. Usually, when I feel I’ve known someone enough, I’ll let them know I have gutter humour and will flirt with anyone, apologise in advance, let them know I don’t mean anything by it, and that I’m doing my best. I started this because those like me identify and we get to the good times sooner, those not like me don’t identify and I’m more aware around them.

I do wonder how many guys are unaware of how creepy some things might be because of their own experiences.

Too many, and I’m sure I’m guilty of running right up against that line more often than I’m aware. Then again, I’ll flirt with anyone that flirts with me (and I mean anyone), but I’m not looking to hookup at all, engaged and all that.

Go places that people want to go, do things that people want to do. Live an interesting life and people will find you interesting.

For me it was Motorcycles. I had one, I knew cool roads, nice views, interesting villages and I was constantly out at get togethers.

I met my fiancée at a BBQ hosted by a motorcycle gear shop. She was interested in cool roads, nice views, interesting towns and so interested in me. Motorcycling (like body building) generally doesn’t attract women, it attracts men, don’t motorcycle for girls.

Before that. I attended dance class. I met a bunch of people, there’s music, exercise, skill expression, creativity, physical contact (I danced Lindy Hop) natural endorphine producers.

I didn’t creep, I was polite, I expressed positivity (If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. No-one knew the songs I hated, but they knew the ones i liked. People would seek me out for those songs because they knew it was gonna be A DANCE, etc) and semi groomed (clean, not stylish). I did the lesson as best I could, there were always more “leads” than “follows” so I was always in demand for the free dance time at the end. I asked them how they were, and (I cannot stress enough: WITHOUT CREEPING) about their lives. It’s not an interview, it’s a conversation, not everyone is a potential date. I was primarily there to learn to dance Lindy Hop and Charleston, meeting very pretty, in shape girls was a massive side benefit. Talking to them just kinda happens, you’re together for a few minutes dancing away, might as well ask her name.

If conversation is hard, it is for me, practice at work. Force yourself to learn about people’s lives, learn how to make it natural, learn how to recognise your hitting a boundary before crossing it. Work is great, people are forced to talk to you and you’ll find extroverts (easy mode) and introverts (hard mode) there. When you have introverts telling you what they’re up to, you know you can make people feel valued through conversation.

The truth is don’t do anything for girls, any girl, that isn’t a collection of red flags, can sense the insincerity. Do a thing you want to do, and go places where a girl that is interested in that thing might go.

Yes yes, “electronic calculators will steal jobs”. “Electronic calculators will make us dumber.” People have been crying wolf about technology for decades.

I’ve had one post removed: a photo of a motorcycle helmet, in a public coffee shop, on a ride that I went on with my mother. Reason: nudity…

It looks like Hilarious Chaos is still a thing, but kind of tiny:

Regular people don’t like nazi bars, so no surprises it’s tiny.

Ah, you want the Nazi bar.

After Exploding Heads were left with no-one but themselves, and decided they weren’t worth it, I don’t know where it moved to. I thought Hilarious Chaos was a thing but Google isn’t pulling it up.

‘Hunter2’ Was my original plan, yours is much better with a special charachter, thank you.

I saw Immich’s licence. I don’t want to dig up old drama though.

I was unaware jellyfin didn’t take donations.

I thought they would both take donations though. Money is money after all.

Holy-shit it does!!! I couldn’t find any of the main repos I want to donate too: Pi-Hole, jellyfin/seerr, *arr, immich. I guess that’s an outreach problem? Getting PromoFaux (Pi-Hole) onto librapay. Pledges seem to help with that.

But Lemmy, Syncthing and Vaultwardern is in in there. I have a tonne of services using MySQL, it’s in there.

Thank you kind stranger, my bank acct hates you.

I’ve said it before, I think there’s money in a service that crowd funds open source donations.

I use so much FOSS that making sure they all get some money is a real first world problem. If I can only give £10 that month what do I do? Rotate who gets the tenner? Give everyone £.20? Then you have to figure out how each service wants funding and organise that.

Instead I could go to FOSSfund select all the software I use and donate £x. That money gets divvyed up and stored with other people’s donations until a threshold is reached.

When enough money is accrued the service makes a substantial donation. The FOSSfund itself is funded through interest gained while holding donations.

Of course I am a naive user that wants good things to exist and has no idea the difficulties in making them happen. Brb, off to vibecode a payment system. I forsee no problems. I will not be taking questions or feedback at this time.

Good singing is fun for everyone. Bad singing is funny for everyone. Mediocre singing is close enough for everyone to know what you tried to do, and far enough away for everyone to know you missed. I’m a mediocre singer, I lean into my weaknesses in karaoke.

When Spotify decided they were a podcast service instead of a music service, Deezer was where I moved to. At the time Flow was their USP but I think every streaming service has something equivalent. I’m content here for now, they’re more convenient and provide better discovery than sailing anyways.

Partnered dance class.

You gain an attractive skill. You get regular exercise, if you practice outside of class, practice outside of class. Pick the correct dance class and you meet people with similar tastes to you. At all the dance classes I attended there was a shortage of leads, don’t be weird¹ and you’ll be in demand. Exercise, music and dancing is a formula for happy people, the people you meet are already in a good mood.

Just don’t be weird¹, practice to get the rhythm in your body without thinking. In the “free dance” time at the end, get around the room ask anyone alone looking at the floor for a dance. Dance, talk (don’t be weird)¹, say thank you, onto the next one. Eventually you’ll make friends.

¹Be wierd later, or be just under your partner’s level of weird. Focus on being a good partner, part of that is having people be comfortable around you.

I’ve been doing my best to approach discussions with empathy lately (I’m not naturally good at it). The people interested in mudslinging get bored I don’t rise to it. People not interested in mudslinging but expected it get drawn into a conversation instead

I hear you, your conclusion is valid given your axioms. We agree on these points. But, have you considered someone with different axioms would come to a different conclusion. Neither of us are irrational, incorrect, or invalid. We’re mostly the same, just differ on a few key points.

Does wonders

I didn’t mean to give the impression I thought the food/coffee/magazine I offer solves the root of a problem. Merely that it’s a thing I can do to solve an immediate need.

The root of the problem won’t be solved by donations to either an individual or a charity. The root of the problem, imo, is political and requires a change in politics. I think we agree on this point.

I hear you. But 10 people donating £5 a day also pays for a shelter to hire a motel room no?

I’m also not judging people on the street, well I probably have some internal biases to work through (more likely to ask a woman than a man, that sorta thing) but I don’t consciously care much about the “what” they are. Also, those internal biases would present themselves no matter what I offered. A service that measured their biases would be better able to give equally than I would as an individual.

Here are the problems I, personally, have with cash donations:

Firstly, I don’t carry it, but adding one more coffee to the one I’m buying anyway is no issue.

Secondly, it doesn’t support panhandling as a career, shitty career choice probably a minority. So minor that if you want to argue that “The rate of professional panhandlers is zero (it isn’t) and this point is invalid” I won’t push back

Thirdly, it doesn’t get to the root of the issue, I’m not judging if they’re on the street for mental health, addiction, ex-convicts, bad luck, whatever, as in no-one deserves to live in the streets barring their own personal choice. But, I think solving the issue is beyond an instance of a donation. I also agree that charities don’t get to the root of the issue either, but I do think they’re better equipped than individuals. Individuals working with these services experience greater success than if they were to go it alone.

Not telling you you’re wrong, just trying to justify my decisions (maybe to myself).

Take this for the uninformed opinion it is.

But, does panhandling ever lead to someone getting off the street? I thought of panhandling as pure survival resources.

I am unable to provide shelter, I could donate to one of the charities dedicated to temporary shelter to provide that. Arguably a better donation than panhandling, as those charities offer pathways off the street.

Jobs, permanent shelter, etc aren’t achieved via panhandling, but through other means (local charities, what not).

But, food/water/entertainment I can provide, like right now. So on my way into the fast food place/shop I’ll offer to grab something.

I pretty much never have cash. So, if I’m buying a ‘to go’ lunch/coffee I’ll offer to get them something.

For the same reason republicans won’t: They’re on the list, their friends are on the list and their donors are on the list.

Journal. Let your feelings out, incrementally, in a place that you don’t feel vulnerable for doing so.

Today co-worker did X, they’re a cunt. It annoys me because Y. Seriously, Co-worker is a dick. At the time I wish I had done Z, but Z is illegal. Nexr time I’ll try [reasonable action]

It is, given the thread thanks for the correction. Fixed