for men to wish to be a woman
My first long term relationship was with a woman who could orgasm from penetration in less than a minute.
After like an hour of foreplay, right?
…Right?
Nope lol
She had the shortest fuse I’ve ever seen
Jesus, talk about seeing unrealistic expectations.
This was a really recent realization for me. I am one of the people who can voluntarily activate the tensor tympani muscles in my ears to create a low level rumbling sound. I recently tried explaining this to someone else and they still think I am making it up.
So THAT’S how you describe it!
You are not alone! I have always been able to do that too. It still doesn’t help with the tinnitus I’ve had since I was 4 or 5 though.
What was a revelation to me was the idea that everyone was only sleeping 3 or 4 hours a night. I thought I was perfectly normal in not sleeping for normal time spans. And despite the drugs and cpap machine I’m prescribed, I still can only sleep 5 or 6 hours now and often less. But I often am able to get to REM sleep now.
Let’s get ready to rumble!
This superpower is so usless. I love it.
Is this not normal?! I can also wiggle my ears, I know that’s weird though.
Yeah, my Dad used to do this to entertain kids, so I worked at it until I could too. It wasn’t easy to learn but real easy to do
Fellow rumbler rejoice!
As I kid I thought it activated some kind of telekinetic or telepathic power so i’d keep doing it and gesturing at ping pong balls or candle flames
So sad to learn that it has nothing to do with psychic powers
Wait, that’s not normal?
Seems so.
It’s more that most people don’t figure out how to tense those muscles independantly of the rest of the neck
I can do this as well, as can one of my siblings and my father so I assume there is a generic component. Used to call it “ear clicking” since it is audible to others if they put their ear to yours in a quiet environment.
I figured out that was the name when googling about it some years ago.
Is it just a click or also the described rumbling. Because I don’t hear a rumbling but I do make the clicks when I notice that my ears need to adjust to the air pressure.
If you hold it tense you get a rumble as described but the first time I tense it will make a little click. If I keep applying tension and release eventually it will stop clicking and just I’ll just hear the rumble and it will take a bit to “reset” to where it clicks again.
Humans are weird.
Edit: I quick kagi search turns up a Reddit thread saying the clicking is caused by “Voluntary Opening of the Eustachian Tubes” which is equalizing the pressure in my ears. That sorta explains why it stops clicking after a bit.
If I use the muscles that I use to get the click very carefully I get the rumble too :)
I never noticed it before and now this will be really distracting unless I forget about ASAP.
Oh…? That has a name? Thanks!
I use to control it before, but since I’m on some other medecine, it start to have its own will. It happen to me unvoluntary like every 5 or 10s. That’s SO FUCKING ANNOYING !!!
When I first read this one, I thought it sounded crazy. Then I realized I know what you mean and am able to do it.
Maybe it’s normal and it’s just the description that doesnt click with people? Anyone in the comments who thinks they can’t do it?
Wait, not everyone can do that?! What the fuck?!
You aren’t alone. I can do it too.
i was able to do that just this morning!! (cant do it anymore)
Can do that low rushing type of sound as well.
Did you listen to a podcast when you found out? 😏
Of two German dudes? 😅
it was also on No Such Thing As A Fish recently
I don’t remember where I was made aware of it, but it was probably this. I used to listen to NSTAAF regularly. This fact probably just got buried in the back of my head until it had the opportunity to come out now.
name drop but I know Andy IRL, nice guy.
That’s not surprising to me at all. He seems like he would be.
Just to clarify, since I don’t know if my experience is what you all are describing: this sounds kind of like what I hear if I start a yawn. Is the rumbling sound just for a second or can you make it indefinitely? And can you also make a short click or series of clicks?
I can get those sounds if I tense up some muscle(s) that you would also use to start a deliberate yawn. The clicks are easy to make, with less tension, and the rumble happens with more tension and it’s only for about a second or so. Also I definitely hear the rumble during a yawn. Does that sound like what you mean or am I describing something completely different?
Rumble and clicks are separate, but the yawn activates all of those muscles so you get them together
It’s easiest to just rumble, but I need to open my jaw a little to click
'Knew about the rumble; 'just did the clicks for the first time (thanks to the tip about opening my jaw).
Yep, the same sound as when you yawn. I can make it happen without yawning. Honestly, I can only make it for 5-10 seconds before I get “tired”.
Regarding clicks …I’ve no idea what that one is.
Weird. I can do it for like a full minute
When you yawn sometimes you hear a little clicking noise in your ear canals, it’s earwax coming into contact briefly and separating, you can do it voluntarily similar to rumbling but I need to open my jaw a little for that effect
That sounds like what I can do. Both the rumble and the clicks/ear popping.
i have approximate knowledge of many things; accessing it without the right trigger may take a while though.
i know i know something but i have accepted that my brain will often only grant me access days later in a completely unrelated situation 🤷🏼♂️
Pretty sure, yes.
I’m over 40 and i’ve had this and many other symptoms my entire life.
No official diagnose though; but this 160 questions-test for example says i’m pretty high up there: https://www.adxs.org/en
I’m also the daydream and fall asleep type ☺️
You can actually train for this!
You can train yourself to become more attuned to your interoception. This will make it easier to identify internal prompts like anxiety or hunger. In fact, a friend of mine was studying to become a psychotherapist and last year had me serve as a guinea pig for interoception interventions. In summary, if you find mindfulness practices that involve your body and your own thoughts, you’ll be more attuned to your interoception. Things like active meditations can help a lot. You can check out evidence-based and peer-reviewed programs like Healthy Minds.
You can train yourself not just to notice your interoception, but also to use interoception to build habits. I suspect this is what the people who do not use external prompts (like stickies) do: they have habits that kick in with not-so-evident prompts. They could be using something called an ‘action prompt’ or an ‘internal prompt’. I’m using the language of Tiny Habits because it’s helpful in this context.
Tiny Habits can teach you how to create habits of all kinds, whether you use external, action, or internal prompts. Tiny Habits prefers prompts that are actions (e.g. “After I put the toothbrush down then I will pick up the dental floss”). But internal prompts are perfectly viable (e.g. “When I feel the heat on my skin and the tension in my jaw, I will describe my inner emotions to myself as if I was listening to a good friend”).
You can understand cues and habits more in depth with contextual behavior analysis. CBA or a qualified professional can help us notice when we struggle to pay attention because of conditions like ADHD or anxiety. Something else that CBA can reveal is that, sometimes, we struggle to pay attention because we haven’t developed the mental information highways that can make our thoughts flow freely. Things like relational frame training can help us build those highways faster. Another option is to learn to think visibly (Harvard’s Project Zero) about our everyday life, so that we build dense information highways that we can later use in daily life.
Of course, the fact is that plenty of humans use external prompts deliberately to help them coordinate and remember things. There’s a reason Scrum boards and Kanban are so popular. There’s a reason calendar apps and Getting Things Done are so popular. There’s a reason many societies have daily, weekly, or yearly rituals. You’re among friends :)
Genuinely. This is sadly how my memory works. It’s gotten better since I had a partner who I would talk to everyday with the inane question, “so how was your day?”
Then suddenly I had to learn how to summarize recent aspects of my life.
And then you’re like, “shit, that happened to me today? shouldn’t I be angry about that?”This is me to a large degree. Give me a cue and a whole encyclopedia is at your fingertips. Just say think of something and I’m at a loss.
I call myself mlm: mediocre language model
AI trained on AI trained on AI trained on AI… Etc etc., quality degrading all the way down.
So, “Living” card games doesn’t mean anything to me, but you did trigger card games in general, which could take me a while. I’ve probably spent a majority of my waking life playing Magic, Poker, Hearthstone, Silver, Smash up, and various other card games. Most recently, I’m obsessed with Balatro.
That being said…
Are you about to open a Pandoras box by making me look up Living Card Games?
Mate, if you’re into CCGs, you really missed out by not getting into LCGs! Android:Netrunner, a remake of the original Netrunner from the 90s is the absolute GOAT CG out there with a close second being the Doomtown:Reloaded (which I helped design). Basically it was CGs without the luck/gambling. Just get all the cards and make exactly all the decks you want.
Unfortunately Netrunner and Doomtown run out of steam half a decade ago, but they’re still developed by their fans, but usually the only way to play them consistently is online in places such as Jinteki.net. There’s a few others still in production, but iirc they’re co-operative ones, like Arkham Horror
I really like netrunner but I can’t find anyone to play with (I prefer in person opponents). It is also the first thing that comes to mind when I think of living card games.
Lol I played Wizard 101 with my kids. I had the most amazing solo life/balance deck.
In high school, my friend ran Linux. I was over at his house and he had to go take a shit or something, and I was trying to see what games he had on his computer. When he got back he asked what the hell I did because he now has to reboot, and we’re going to have to watch it do that for the next half hour. And penguins and hats.
That’s pretty much everything I ever needed to know about Linux.
Omg, this is me. I thought I was alone. I love all you people in this thread, FAM!
Singing to me the song of my people. Where you all at?!
We are normal, it’s the others who are weird
Having a constant noise in your head/ears. It was so normal to me I didnt question it for many years. I randomly asked my friends about it one day and found out most people actually dont have an old crt tv like noise in their ears (and that its the disorder tinnitus).
In my case its not very severe thankfully, I dont notice it unless Im in a silent room or Im actively thinking about it.
Oh plenty of things:
having respect for others
being honest
helping the needy
fair pay for fair work
honestly considering others’ perspectives
loyalty
Basically every virtue I was ever told was worthy to embody has been used against me as a weapon or a tool
And of the hundreds of people I know IRL less than 10% give any of these internal value or even attempted to put into practice
And here I’ve been a sucker all my life doing the proper social contract thing because I don’t like the way the world is shaping up and getting CONSTANTLY bent over for it
How are you supposed to deal with this without just losing all your values and becoming like them?
Are there any books or anything that someone can read on this?
Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series is what kind of did it for me, he was an amazing human.
Or a cruel dreamer for making me think that this was how the world was supposed to be.
Thanks! Definitely reading this one now though its kinda long. I had heard about it but didn’t see anyone put it this way before.
Also: aphantasia
You have no idea how pissed I was to find out all of you had a fucking superpower, would have been nice to learn this before I wasted 3 years at graphic design
Having basic empathy for other living beings, actually make it through hard work alone. Having enough time for a hobby.
Physical abuse as a child.
Reading.
Or rather, how so many people seem fear and avoid it, or can’t do it. Something like 21% of adults in the US are illiterate, and the majority – 54% – read at or below a 6th grade level.
I’ve been a sight reader probably since I was about six years old. I absolutely cannot look at any words legibly written in my native language and not understand them. You couldn’t force me to look at words written in English and not digest them if you held a gun to my head. I fear no wall of text, no matter how tall it is.
It takes some effort to wrap your head around the notion that not only can most people not do this, but statistically speaking most or at least a plurality of people have to struggle or exert conscious effort to read and many of them are loathe to do so. And roughly one in five people simply can’t. This did not sink in for me when I was younger.
I can’t imagine having to live my life that way. You nerds have seen how much bullshit I write in a day; I’d go absolutely bats.
As a kid I kept asking librarians why libraries were so empty of people if they had so many books and it took me years to understand the sadness in her shrug.
As someone with ADHD I see both sides here. I will devour a good book in no time. But put something i don’t enjoy in front of me and I’d rather die than read it.
I was thinking that I can’t imagine not immediately comprehending written words. Then I realized that I already do that in German. It takes a bit of effort. It’s really surprising that so many people live their lives like that with their native language.
I honestly don’t know how it can be possible, especially these days with everything done on phones and the internet. It does help me to understand the appeal of Tiktok, Instagram, YouTube, etc though.
My goodness, I am so much like you.
I’ve been using a book tracker app since the iPhone 4s (2011) just to keep track of what I buy - I don’t track anything else - because even way back then I had trouble remembering if I had a book or if I had just browsed it elsewhere.
In 2018, various functions (search, sort, stats, etc.) took a permanent dirt nap just as I was nearing the 3K number of entries. And these are just the books I own.
The size of the DB backup file has nearly doubled since then.
Now granted, a number of books I get need to go straight into storage before I can even read them, as I have not yet built my library. It’s already gone through several redesigns to stay ahead of the size of my collection, and right now I’m looking at movable library storage stacks - the kind that roll on miniature railway tracks and have wheel-like dogs at their ends that a person turns to easily move them back and forth (opening and closing an access corridor between the stacks for access to the books). I’m hoping to eventually have almost half a linear kilometre of shelving in my library once it’s built.
I cannot imagine the horror of being even semi-illiterate, much less fully illiterate. I absolutely love reading.
That sounds completely awesome and seems like a fulfilling goal to have in life! Please make sure though to set up some type of arrangement for if something happens to you with such a large and incredible collection like that. I’ve been involved with estate sales and have seen personal loved ones just completely overwhelmed with the amount of things to process after a relative’s death. Getting rid of things just isn’t on the table sometimes, things will sit and rot because of love and loss.
That 3k+ of books could completely transform a public library and continue to touch the minds of generations to come if you set it up properly now (and won’t be a future burden on a loved one).
As someone with deep roots in the sciences, and good access to the latest data and evidence surrounding anthropogenic climate change, I seriously doubt that there will be much civilization left by the time I shuffle off this mortal coil. All indications used to point towards widespread economic, societal, and ecological collapse in the latter half of this century, well past my effective lifespan, but recent (and strong!) evidence has moved that up considerably to not much past 2035. So no, I am not worried in the least about “burdening” anyone with my collection. I seriously doubt that there will be anyone left who will care. The few who remain will be too obsessed with surviving another day to give two shits about books. I just want to live long enough to read most of them in relative comfort.
That stat is wild, reading is such a foundational skill in today’s world.
I don’t even know what reading bellow 6th grade means.
picture books? not long texts that requires abstract thinking, like non-fiction, most definitely not HISTORY books, chemsitry, or math. a well written book is usually pretty dense, and a crappy one like some “cladestines operations” type novels are usually like a childs book.,
It takes some effort to wrap your head around the notion that not only can most people not do this, but statistically speaking most or at least a plurality of people have to struggle or exert conscious effort to read and many of them are loathe to do so. And roughly one in five people simply can’t. This did not sink in for me when I was younger.
what do you mean people look at words and don’t process them automatically? Is there like, research on this i can read or something? I don’t think i believe you.
I though people were just stupid, and chose not to.
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sentences in foreign languages are complete gibberish to me, unless i partly know how the grammar structure and language works, but that’s also sort of automatic at that point, if i wanted to actually comprehend it, yeah i would have to put work into it, but that’s literally me translating the sentence at that point lol.
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that sounds wacky as fuck.
Guess i’ll have to do some looking to see about how we’re determining illiteracy these days.
Literacy is a skill that needs to be taught. If it isn’t taught, or is taught poorly, well…
i mean obviously, but unless you aren’t teaching kids how to read/write in school, the amount of complete ignorance you would need to expend in your adult life to backslide so far on something so ingrained into your brain structure is genuinely impressive.
Standing to wipe your ass
blocked
There’s both types, but most don’t realize the other one exists.
I’m not sure how we got on the topic, but it came up in a drunken conversation with a friend. I’m fully converted to a sit down wiper now.
I mean, how does standing even work? Sitting spreads things and makes it all accessible.
You just get up after pooping, and then pull the TP through your butt cheeks. It’s massively inferior, the poop gets spread around when you stand up. I used like 10x more TP as a standing wiper. I will say it’s gentler on the asshole though.
that sounds awful, I would never think to stand to wipe - it smushes and spreads it, making it so much harder to clean up
Step one be skinny Step two raise one leg
I don’t think we were drunk, but I did eventually ask a friend which they were… and it caused the same conversion for me.
For me it was wiping your ass in general.
My family comes from sri Lanka we just fill a bucket with water. (Or use a bidet if available)
So with the bucket would you use your hand to apply the water? I’m having trouble figuring that statement out.
You basically pour the water and use it to wash your rear by hand. Wash your hands thoroughly, and dry off.
Nowadays in sri Lanka they have bidets everywhere but here in Canada we don’t sadly.
I still wipe first with a bidet. I don’t need little bits of poo going anywhere. And then I wipe after, because I don’t need swamp ass, either.
We need an electric ass dryer, for after we use water like civilized people.
Really?
When I was much younger: that normal people could see much further than me.
One of my oldest memories is going into a McDonald’s for the first time with glasses; I stopped and read the entire menu, because I couldn’t believe normal people could read it as soon as you walked in. I always had to get up to the counter to make it out.
I got a lot better in school after that!
A woman I used to know said when she got glasses for the first time, she was amazed at being able to discern leaves on trees from further than a couple meters.
O my god. This is so relatable. I was 14 or so when a girl in my class told me I need contact lenses because I couldn’t read the school board unless I sat in the front (spoiler, I sat in the back).
And I was like nahh. Then I got a checkup and I was already at like -2. Then I wore lenses for years and I absolutely hated them. They stick to my eyes. Then only at like 18 I got glasses (not cool to teenage me) and I never switched back.
Maybe they should give children check ups, at least once in their life lol.
Knee pain. Everyone told me it was normal growing pains, until one little league coach notice I run weird. Queue years of doctors and specialists and tests and scans and surgeries, and now I’m a 40 something guy with advanced arthritis that could have been much much worse if left untreated.
way to go attentive little league coach!
also wtf parents?
“Well it’s not hurting me so it can’t be that bad.”
My parents took me to see doctors, who told them it was just growing pains and suggested I exercise more to lose weight. I saw three specialists and had a bunch of xrays before anyone noticed the shady spots on my cartilage. Osteochondritis Dissecans occurs in 15-30 people out of 100,000, and most of the primary care doctors I’ve had in my life had never heard of it.
I can’t blame my parents for that. I can blame them for a lot of things, but they did their best.
My family was super meat-centric for all holidays except Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Any meal where it’s physically possible to barbecue, we would. And a family barbecue meant hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken, pork steaks, and beef steaks – one of each per person, plus a couple of extras. Sides were German-style slaw and potato salad. Buns were not included, but my grandma would always put a stack of white bread on the table (she was the only person who ever ate it).
When I started dating my husband and took him to a family holiday, he was shocked by the fact that my whole family was eating hamburgers and hot dogs with flatware instead of on buns. And he was actually sad at the lack of side dishes.
When I went to one of his family barbecues, I was sad that there was just one hamburger per person (already on a soggy bun) and a ton of weird casseroles.
eating hamburgers and hot dogs with flatware instead of on buns.
That sounds so German. I know the bun-less burgers as “frickadellen”, my own parents (both German immigrants who met each other over here) used to make them fairly frequently.
There is no c in Frikadelle.
Interesting, in NL frikadellen are more like ground-up-meat long sausages.
and in Russia the word stands for meatballs
That does sound a bit one sided. If you ever (want) to learn how to cook, you’d be amazed what you can do with vegetables, other than boiling them. Those can be truly inspirational and unique. Will be tough to sell to your family though haha.
I mean. Coleslaw or other slaw, potato or pasta salad, pickles? Mashed potatoes? Those are all good American BBQ sides.
I don’t think my father would consider spankings, with wooden paddle or leather belt, child abuse. It was a threat that I fell afoul of a few times at school or home.
Depending on your age, that level of “child abuse” might be normal. (Not that it should be.)
Ah, yeah, my father only threatened to fight me once, and he never did. (I think he felt I was directly questioning his authority when non-family members were present, but the memory is hazy at best now.)
It does sound like your experience is abnormal. (But, I’m not really informed; just working from my experience, and hearsay.)
Ah yes, therapy has been fun the last few months since we’ve processed all the recent stuff and moved on to my childhood… Hugs to you friend.
